Oct. 24, 2022

The Power of Intention and Clarity with Kristopher Kluver


Kris Kluver is a dedicated speaker, facilitator, advisor, seasoned entrepreneur, and bestselling author of The Aspiring Solopreneur: Your Business Start-Up Bible as well as The Fable: Life on Your Terms, part of the Defining What’s Next series. He has helped thousands of individuals, couples, and organizations find balance and achieve more than they ever thought possible using simple tools, candid facilitation, and unique stories.
Kris is a Certified Speaker with EO, the Entrepreneur Organization and a graduate of the EO Global Speakers Academy. Kris has extensive speaking and virtual speaking experience both nationally and internationally with groups ranging from CEO’s to university students.
Kris empowers others to achieve success through real-life examples, stories and analogies. Understanding that everyone is in one of four stages of life; Stabilize, Visualize, Strategize or Execute, Kris meets people where they are at by integrating his extensive business strategy experience with proven tools and a fun attitude. Once individuals are aware of where they are starting from, they learn how to dream about what an amazing, well-balanced life can look like. From here they build a simplified strategy with clear action steps to achieve their dreams.
As a result, people begin to think differently, dream and thrive.
Kris and his wife, Reka, provide talks, workshops and retreats focused on applying the Life on Your Terms methodologies to couples, individuals, and teams. These applications result in helping people to identify success on their terms, streamline communication, create partner champions (not saboteurs), and obtain their ideal life.
Kris is the founder and principal of Life on Your Terms and Entrepreneurial Advisors, a strategic advisory and management facilitation firm that works with leaders in the United States and Europe. As a seasoned entrepreneur with over 35 years of actual, in the trenches experience, Kris started his first of fifteen companies at the age of nineteen. Since then, he has been involved with businesses ranging from consulting, real estate, online services, counseling, advertising, financial services, and many more. Kris has seen the inner workings of hundreds of businesses, some good, some ugly, all interesting. Some successes have included eight figure exits, helping a company go public, 10X growth spurts, the successful restructuring of billion-dollar organizations and much more. On an individual level, Life on Your Terms has helped individuals to discover their purpose, reconnect with loved ones, create alignment with their partners and empower people to embrace their next chapter in life. Kris likes to say it is exciting to help companies make a lot of money, but it is life changing when you can help someone find and achieve their dreams.
Kris has studied entrepreneurial strategy at Harvard Business School and is a fellow at York University in the United Kingdom. He lives in the high country of Colorado with his spouse, Reka, where they live life on their terms embracing outdoor activities, adventure travel and endurance events.

https://www.lifeon-yourterms.com

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Transcript

Josh Wilson:

Good day fellas. Welcome to uncensored advice. Flofr flofr men. This shows for you guys. I love you and so proud of you for tuning in and working on yourself, listening to podcasts, reading books, and I just want to let you know how proud I am that you're listening min to this or whatever else you're doing to grow personally on the show. We've interviewed pastors, p*** stars and kind of everybody in between to bring you guys uncensored advice on the questions and topics that you guys have. If you have questions, first of all, don't struggle with those questions alone. Head over to Uncensored Advice for Men, fill out a quick form and you can ask your questions there. I'll find out from someone in our guest list to answer the questions right. With that, let's dive into today's interview with one of my friends, Chris, who's going to share his story, his mission, and talk to you guys and bring you some maybe a different view on what's going on in the world economy right now. So, Chris, welcome to show. Hey.

Kris:

Right on, Josh. Thank you so much. I'm not a p*** star and I'm definitely not a preacher. I fit somewhere in there, somewhere in the middle.

Josh Wilson:

Don't have what it takes to be either one. Maybe, I don't know. Who knows? Right?

Kris:

Literally.

Josh Wilson:

You and I are hanging where are you? Where are you located?

Kris:

Right now? I'm outside a little town called Ledville in Colorado.

Josh Wilson:

Oh, sweet. Awesome. We're hanging out in Colorado and at a coffee shop or something like that. And we meet a friend. They go, hey Chris, who are you? How do you typically respond to that?

Kris:

Well, that's a big question. I can say who I am is I aspire to be somebody who lives as a truly genuine human and looks at success on a holistic level, not just the financial, but also min the physical. I want to be the very best husband I can be. I want to be the very best friend I can be. I've had a fair amount of sex success in the financial world doing okay and turn my life around in a physical space. So I guess I'm extremely consciousness. I'd want to be known as being genuine, being present and always being there for others. If I can do those three things, I win.

Josh Wilson:

Yeah, super cool. Now something that when I'm listening to people, I listen for clues on life transformations or things that we could pull from this. You've done really well. Success, financially successful. Right. You made some money, I assume. Right. You said but on the health side, I had to turn around, I had to do a life turnaround, made money, but something was going on with help. Are you comfortable talking about what happened there?

Kris:

Oh, yeah. For a long time my best friend was Jim Beam and there was a cigarette I didn't like. At one point, I weighed 260, almost £100 heavier than where I am now.

Josh Wilson:

Wow.

Kris:

I had a hip and a knee that went completely bad. I had my knee rebuilt eight times. That was symptomatic of those things. In 2015, I went through and I got my hip and my knee replaced. Actually, it was a paradigm shift in my thinking when that happened. And people say, how you doing? I like to say I feel like the luckiest cat on the place, because I do. I genuinely feel I am one of the most fortunate people ever. But the thing is, we all are. For me, that experience and I could expand on if you like, it had a major impact on how I looked at things, and it's actually led me in a direction to where I work with people today and help people with.

Josh Wilson:

Yeah, all right. How did you originally get incued? Right. Eight knee replacements. Bad hip like you've been eight surgeries.

Kris:

One replacement, but eight surgeries. Well, the way everybody does liquid up in college, chasing women on skis.

Josh Wilson:

That will do it well. Yes, skiing is not good for the knees. I blew mine out playing soccer. It's funny because I'm going on probably, surgery number two on the knees now for an active guy. You grew up skiing and chasing women and such like that. When you got injured and you were forced to sit still, how did your brain handle that? It's really tough for me.

Kris:

Well, those times, honestly, I didn't sit still. I broke cast by jumping on bikes when I still had my leg in the cast. I just was very consistent in doing stupid s***. It was actually getting forced to slow down was actually when I had my knee replaced because I was baked on oxy, so I couldn't read. I'd read the same sentence for three times and drool on myself. And I can't really walk. I measured my PT growth by could I walk from this light pole to that light pole and back. I watched TV, and I'm not a big TV person, but watching daytime TV, holy s***, that is a scary experience. It was in there that I discovered what a kardashian was. And it scared me. The reason it scared me was here's a group of people that are beautiful have tremendous financial success. They have all the stuff min, the trappings, the relationships, accolades. Yet in a lot of ways, man, they were all just b******* and wanting more. And I felt really uncomfortable. I realized that I had been measuring my success in the same way they were and was just like, I've been chasing money and stuff and houses, and I love those things. I love my BMWs in multiple homes, but it's not the only way. That's where I actually had that forced downtime. You were saying you're not good with downtime. But that's what happened. I clicked channel and saw there are other things that really opened my eyes in a different way. That's where that was monumental for me.

Josh Wilson:

The day you had your kind of your wake up call, you're sitting there drooling on yourself, flicking channels or whatever, and you had a wake up call, what did that day look like for you? Were you just like you looked in the mirror and you're like, what are you doing? Or you felt yourself being negative? Live what was the wake up call for you?

Kris:

Well, the first part was that feeling dirty about the way I've been measuring success. I realized then at that point, I had abdicated that narrative and given it away to the advertising industry, to the scarcity mindsets of my parents and my peers with good intention, but I'd given it away. I switched over to these other channels, and I live in the woods. I like the woods, the self accountability, that kind of stuff. I'm watching these guys in Alaska who make like, $8,000 a year, and they got duct tape on their glasses in a 1970s snow machine, and they can't get through an episode without saying how fortunate they felt and how they wouldn't trade it for anything min the world and how they were actually taking that time. I sat back and thought, Holy s***. Who's winning here? And who's winning? It was at that point, and I wish I could say that it was a paradigm shift in opening the door, but then it was a journey to navigate and figure out what that looked like and where I was going. Does that make sense?

Josh Wilson:

Yeah, absolutely. Sometimes when you're chasing the noise and I think the people who make the most noise are the people who are perhaps the most unhappy, right? Or on the news or on these reality TV shows, so they're making noise because the noise attracts attention, but it's just like they seem to be the most unhealthy, but that's what we compare ourselves to. I had to delete Facebook from my phone because I was too looking at other people, man, d*** it, they got another brand new SUV or another vacation, and I'm struggling. I was constantly comparing myself and, years would go by, and then I look back and I go, man, I have a beautiful family. We're healthy for the most part. Live. My kids love me. That, you know, my wife loves me. And I'm like, who's really winning here? I'm like, and why am I even playing this freaking game against them? They don't even know they're playing the game with me, right? We're just all competing. Yeah, I know exactly how you feel. I felt the thing that made me feel the worst is that I wasn't thankful for all the amazing things that I had. I was so disgusted with what I don't have, and I was so caught up in that. How did you turn yourself around, man? The guy I know today is happy and thankful, and you were talking about streams of consciousness and being kind to people and lift them up. How did you make that pivot, dude? From Kardashians to that.

Kris:

I think it was the physicality of things to be able to so I did everything I could to be proactive for my surgeries. I got a concierge med guy, did all the presurgical work and all this. He finally and I said, all right, dude, what else do I need to do? Because I'm so good at doing anything. He's like, well, here's a couple of books on mindfulness and meditation and intention. And it was through that. Like, I got to the point I was so deep in the weeds. It's kind of embarrassing to say, but I was visualizing myself with the ivy in my arm, the coolness in the room, wearing the gown with your a** hanging out. I'm visualizing live the music they're playing, and I visualize the way my muscles are open and receptive and how the surgeon is happy and everybody's happy and they're laughing and teasing each other and it's going and I got to tell you, it was the greatest experience. I mean, it was brutal. To come out of that and have all of that there and realizing I got to a point where I ended up doing ultra, runs ultramarathons with prosthetics for me, I realized I think the biggest shift was that I am h*** on wheels when it comes to putting intention and building a great strategy to drive dollars and success in a business. When I started adapting that kind of thinking, how can I transition my life from a reactive to a proactive mode? How can I start applying strategies to making my marriage better, being a better friend, working on my health, working on my physical, working on my mental spiritual? My wife and I, we had on Saturday Persian Gulf and then in Nepal for a month. We're going to spend five days in a Tibetan monastery doing meditation retreats because we actually have a goal this year. We want to enhance our spirituality on things super cool.

Josh Wilson:

All right, so h*** on wheels for driving dollars, right?

Kris:

Live.

Josh Wilson:

This guy knows how to make money. You're having to learn other things like that maybe didn't come as natural, right? Like focusing on self and energy and visualization. Right. Live. Did that live. If I would have talked to you like ten years ago, I'm like, hey, Chris, this is what you're going to be in the future. What would you have said? Would you be like, you had a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of gym in the other? Like, what would you said?

Kris:

It would have been colorful, to say the least. I don't know. I think I started my first at 15 companies when I was 19. So I've been outside the box forever. And I have never said, not possible. So I wouldn't have dismissed it. I would have said, let's see it now. Maybe I think what's really been interesting is I've got two sides of my coin. I work with the Life in your terms groups, but then I also have done the strategy pieces. I've got two companies that we started an entrepreneurial phase and hit billion dollar market caps. I've got I don't know how many. We've gotten eight figure exits and we ten X a bunch of companies. It's through that combined with the Life and your Term stuff that I got to start meeting over and over. There are these guys, there are these f****** that are making 10 million a year, and they are grumpy as h***. Am I allowed to say drop fbomb? Sorry, it's uncensored. But I didn't.

Josh Wilson:

Which one? Which effort?

Kris:

I dropped the F word.

Josh Wilson:

Yeah, you could say, I'm just kidding. You go for it.

Kris:

You see this guys that are just they're hurting. They've got more money than they ever thought.

Josh Wilson:

Yeah.

Kris:

I just worked with a group on the East Coast on this. It's interesting because they've lost their essence when they were doing what they were doing. They were gladiators, man, they love going in and problem solving and swinging and fighting, and then they get the brass ring. Now they're like, that to me is you have that much potential and those resources, and if you can shift that for positive, for good or more money, if that's what they want, but rarely is that but coming up with some purpose or intention. And that changes everything. When I figured Min out changed everything.

Josh Wilson:

Yeah. I've interviewed 1000 people through my different shows. I've built ten of these. More now. I hear a common language, especially for someone who has an exit. Right. Live. I know a guy worth $100 million, and he's 44 years old and he's bored out of his mind and he can't find his way. And, like, here I am struggling and pushing for the exits and doing all this stuff to accumulate s***. That's going to be me if I don't focus on what's my intent, what's my purpose, what's my mission. I'm spending so much time I'm 40 years old, I'm spending so much time trying to visualize and meditate and pray and learn more about God, learn more about myself. Man, I feel like I'm so far behind on that side. This is a recent journey for you. You said 2019 is when you were flipping channels. Is that right? Or 15 to. So this is kind of recent. You're not over the hill. How old are you, by the way? Okay, so this is recent for you, learning this stuff. What do you think has been the greatest AI transcription over these past seven years?

Kris:

The biggest thing is it's been something I've been working towards for my whole life in one way or another, I realized. The thing is, I think we all are, but it's a matter of giving ourselves permission and the space to kind of screw it up and understanding that people like you and I who are good at building s***, suck at being patient sometimes and exceptionally suck at being patient for ourselves. I think there's the old adage, it's not the destination, it's the journey. And there's so much truth to that. I think that the biggest I was stalling, to answer your question. I think the biggest piece is creating that intention and clarity of where you want to be. We teach, my wife and I, teach something called a life changing goal, how to give somebody, like a personal Bhag of sorts.

Josh Wilson:

Nice. Yeah.

Kris:

But your personal Bhag, that helps. For us, it's to introduce a million people to a new way of thinking impacting countless lives.

Josh Wilson:

The BHack, before you go any further, that's a Collins acronym for guys who might not know it. What's it mean?

Kris:

I'm sorry? Big hairy, audacious goal.

Josh Wilson:

Cool.

Kris:

Go ahead.

Josh Wilson:

You and your wife have this be hacked, this big hairy audacious goal. Right? Now you have clarity and intent and purpose, and it's to do what.

Kris:

To introduce a million people to a new way of thinking impacting countless lives. Josh, I can tell you I changed that. I changed that last year because when I originally wrote it three years ago, again, it's embarrassing, but I remember I had such imposter syndrome. It was to introduce 100,000 people and impact a million lives. I literally was crying and I could barely write it. I'm like, who the f*** am I to think that? I think the universe wants to give us everything we want. The universe, the good Lord, whatever you want to call it. We have to be clear on what it is. That's the problem, is, 99% of the time we have so much abundance, but we don't know exactly what we want. We end up like a bunch of drunk kids in a candy store with unlimited credit and a bellyache, and we're p***** off. When we can create that clarity so I shifted my thinking two years ago on ROI from a return on investment to a return on impact. To me, the more I can drive impact. Now, the fun thing is that when I drive that dude, everything else falls in line. It's extraordinary. The money, everything gets stronger and stronger when I'm genuine and true to who I am. I want to help as much as I possibly can. That seems to have the major impact now. We also realize that in the quadrants of our tool called the balance wheel. I'll give it to you guys if you want it. We also decided we wanted to become badass endurance athletes and I want to be the best husband I can be and other stuff. That's how we ended up in Leadville, which is one of the prime spots in the entire world for endurance stuff. That's why we take two months off a year for adventure travel. But it's long winded. Answer your question? The more we can live our life with intention and clarity, and if we can really be transparent and share that with our partner or our spouse, that we create champions instead of saboteurs, anything is possible.

Josh Wilson:

Bro, that is so good right there. Champions versus saboteurs. All right, give me an example of how you had it. How long have you been married?

Kris:

22 years.

Josh Wilson:

Okay, so you've probably gone through different phases where you've had a champion that's.

Kris:

Been perfect all the time.

Josh Wilson:

Liar. Give me an example of when you started to see the difference between the two and when you got into the flow with your partner.

Kris:

Well, we got min the flow right at the very beginning. I sold the business in 98 and I took a year and traveled around the world and blew it and hit all seven continents in San Jose removed. My wife Rika had been an account for a VC firm in the UK and had a house fall through. She traveled for two years, and we met on a freighter in Patagonia location.

Josh Wilson:

Cool.

Kris:

It was very high end, by the way. I was on the same deck as the trailers of Horses and Oranges, but were really in our group. We were gladiators were living in our essence. She traveled around the world with me on that trip. It was when we got together then and were married and we started trying to figure out day to day live. And I've always been an entrepreneur. She's always been employed. That had friction. She grew up in a very, very challenging relationship with her father. There were all sorts of things there. Dave Chapman's book, Five Love Languages, every dude on the planet should read that just because it helps us understand communication better. For me, the more I can embrace I call it a spirit of curiosity, but this works with whether you're a senior leader or you're managing people, instead of that immediate getting s*** on, you should do this, you should do that. Nobody likes to get s*** on. How can we help me understand that. Why are you saying this? And then primarily I say this. That frustrates me. That hurts me here. I don't understand that. The more I can be curious, the more I can be patient, the less I screw it up. My mum gave me a quote when we got married, she said, son, everybody says marriage is 50. It's not. A lot of times it's 90 ten, and you both might think you're given 90. I think there's a lot of truth to that.

Josh Wilson:

That's wisdom right there, right? Man, the five love languages, what are yours?

Kris:

My love language is our affirmation, as much as I hate to admit that.

Josh Wilson:

Personal touch, that is exactly mine as well. Mine's probably top one physical touch, right? Words of affirmation, like, give me an attempt, min a high five or a hug. Dude, I'm juiced up my wife, she rubs my neck for like, two minutes. I'm good, right? I need that touch. Hers is like, the exact opposite, by the way, sometimes how life plays a fun joke on you. Such a great book, such a great resource to kind of figure out how to communicate love, like, what is her love language and then how to receive love. And this is super cool. Now, you said you have a resource, a balance wheel. Where could guys go explain what it is? You said the guys could have it if they want. Where could they find it? Tell us about it. Where could they find it?

Kris:

Sure. And this is what I start live. I coach some public CEOs. I coach people all over the world. This is a tool I always start with so we can do an assessment. I believe everybody goes through four phases stabilize, visualize, strategize, and execute. How can we first stabilize? This happens for leadership teams, organizations, but as an individual. If you go to the Life on Your Terms.com life on Your Terms.com website, you go down about two. This of the way it says balance wheel, click on it, takes about five minutes, give you immediate results. What it is, it's a way of looking at success, not just in your professional and financial world, but also success in your resources. Resources being time, talent, treasure for your relationships, your friends, your family, your partner, and then also for your health, your spiritual, your mental, and your physical. And here's the thing. As we work on that, we work with the intention of trying to get people to get more wellrounded and stronger. When I can get a CEO to start looking at it that way, there's always resistance. When they start leaning into it, the thing that's absolutely extraordinary is the stronger they get on the other areas that have been lacking, then expands.

Josh Wilson:

So you froze for 1 second there. Please repeat that, because I think that there was value. We must have hit a bubble here in our Internet.

Kris:

Okay, sorry. I was saying that working with CEOs, trying to convince them that it's not just about money or the accolades, when I can get them to start thinking and realizing, man, if you can be the best parent or the best spouse or the best friend, when you can really focus on your health, your mental health, church, physical, spiritual, everything expands. You're going to make more, you're going to better at it, and it's not so I think work life balance is bullshit. I think it's worth life integration, but you have to put as much attention into those other places, and the key thing is to be present. Quick story. Is that right?

Josh Wilson:

Yeah, we got time.

Kris:

I was working with one CEO, and he's a big cheese, and he was calling me out saying, no, I spend time with my kids. Like, all right, dude, the greatest gift you can give anybody is to be present, including yourself. You go spend time and invest time with your spouse, ten minutes, look her in the eyes and say nothing, but that is all that matters. Then 2 hours.

Josh Wilson:

All right, so you're talking to a CEO, and you said, it's more than money. He's kind of calling bullshit on it. Explain the story. What happened?

Kris:

Well, so it's spending time, and then the next time I talked with him, he said that he was sitting there playing with his daughter, and she's seven, and his daughter said, daddy, why don't you just go work? You like your phone better than me anyway. And I mean, that rushed this guy. So now he makes a point. He comes home, kisses his wife, spends quality five minutes being present, then puts the phone away in the other room, checks it once or twice, but he's very intentional if he's checking the phone. Otherwise, if he's doing unicorn fun time, d*** it, he's all in on unicorn fun time. If you can do that for ten minutes, I think you can actually warp and bend time if you can be ultra, ultra present with people in those things, because you can get 4 hours worth of truly engaged time if you're that present.

Josh Wilson:

A little hippie voodoo there, but hippy voodoo time bending. I like it. As you were explaining before we hit record, you're saying you think people are just done putting up with bullshit, and you were talking about what's going on in the world today. People are quitting their jobs, middle finger. They're walking out. You're like, you're meeting a lot of unhappy people, and you spend a lot of time dtkcoaching people, especially entrepreneurship, which you could talk about your first book, the Aspiring Soloprene, right? You could give a shout out there. You're seeing this the great Exodus or the great resignation. What are you meeting ID the world as you're coaching these people?

Kris:

I got to tell you, I don't think it's a resignation. I think it's just a reshuffle and a reprioritization. As an old guy, I'm supposed to look at the Gen Z and millennials and say, they're a bunch of slackers that don't know what they do, because that's what everybody does. Generationally Forever from eldest moving his pips too much, ? I gotta tell you, I think that the millennials are the hardest working generation we've seen. People argue with me till they are blue in the face, but I think that they have almost no patience. I know I'm being gross in the generalizations, but if you go to a millennial or Z and say, dude, just suck it up. This is the way we do things, it's only going to be 20 years and you'd be partnered. They'll be like, I'm gone, like, in a day. If you can give millennials or ZS a true purpose or a why, and they buy in. Holy s***. Hardest working group of people we've ever seen. I think COVID created a level of intolerance that people aren't going tolerate that scarcity. I'm just going to keep working in the salt mines because that's what everybody's always done. It gave the entire world it gave the world a timeout. It told the whole world, no, go sit in the corner. Go sit in the corner for two years and think about it. Now what do you want to do? A lot of people got fat and grumpy, but I think it's forcing people to look at things completely different. Senior leaders and organizations, if they don't man, if they don't address that s***, they're just going to keep oh, it's the worst hiring ever. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. If we can't hire anybody, have you looked in a g****** mirror? Let's start there first.

Josh Wilson:

When they do look in the mirror, if they're honest with themselves, what will they find?

Kris:

I think it goes back to the whole life on your terms piece. They're probably going to find somebody who really isn't happy, who's hiding in busyness and hiding in the noise and just continues to just keep pushing and pushing. That's one of the biggest things that a senior leader has got to do, and that's one of the biggest challenges is for a senior leader to learn how to think. But it's the same thing, flofr individuals. That's where when we live in an incredibly noisy, hectic, reactive world, we don't have to face any of that stuff. When we get the time and when we choose to do that I went for a walk this morning at sunrise around the lake and in the woods. It's just but I think that's highest and best use of my time is how can I figure out where my head is at and how can I be the greatest me? And that's the problem.

Josh Wilson:

Yeah, so good. You woke up and you had to figure out where your head was at, what was going on in your head. I woke up this morning at 330. I couldn't go back to sleep, so I drove over to the office. I didn't wake. Up the kids, and I just started working, having some fun, working and creating content and writing and such like that. My head was not in a it wasn't in a bad space. It just wasn't. I lacked clarity in my brain, and it was confusing me, and I had to go figure it out. I prayed and all that stuff, but talk to me about what happened to you this morning.

Kris:

My wife, she had to fly back to Omaha for a couple of meeting. ID. I was up early, had my coffee, and to me, it was a get to do. It's not a have to do, but if I can go on a 30 miles bike ride, maybe hammer a book on tape on Audible or just have quiet time or go for just something that just kicks my a**, hike. It's in those times that I think our subconscious is probably the most powerful tool we have. I think our subconscious is screaming to help us all the time and answer the questions. Josh I believe we can build on work on this because I've been able to. I still have a long way to go, but if we can recruit our subconscious and then provide the space for our subconscious to come up with the answers that we know it's been working on I know that makes me sound like I'm split personality, but I think we got amazing tools at our disposal that we just keep getting in the way of blocking ourselves.

Josh Wilson:

Why? There's just so much noise, right? I think a lot of times, a lot of people, myself included, are afraid to be quiet, right? Because we're always stimulated with that freaking phone or with another show or I had a stressful day or whatever, and I just want to pour some drink at it or throw some smoke at it, right? I think that the subconscious is screaming, but we just held the shut up, and we try to mute it out with noise. When's the first time you came in contact with your subconscious on another level?

Kris:

It was probably pretty early, because I've been able to go into the I've been doing big hikes since I was a kid, and I used to even when I worked for people, I negotiated six weeks off when I was in the would go to war torn Central America and go backpacking for five weeks by myself in a place I didn't speak the language. I would have that experience of amazing experiences, but also the quiet time with it. I think maybe in the last ten years, I've really been leaning into trying to recruit it to help me, as odd as it sounds. But I practice Tai chi every day. I do meditation. I go for my walks in the woods, and I say, Every day? It's like, oh, yeah, is it every day? But it's an aspiration, but it's there. What's fun is that's where I start with every one of the CEOs. If I do one one, my really high end coaching is it sounds silly, but I have to put the phone in the other room at night so they get to sleep earlier. I get any electronics out of the bedroom when they go to sleep. If they don't pray, say two or three things are grateful for, have that attitude. You're setting the intention for how you go to sleep when you wake up. If you don't pray, what are those things you're grateful for set the intention of? So today, I want to be clear. I want to be present. I want to be curious, but I want to be fearless. Those were my three for you. Today was for this. I have them go for a walk. It's live. Go for a 15 minutes walk without and it's like, Why? It's like just try this. And they get hooked on it. I had a CEO of a multi billion dollar organization, and when he came in, he literally came into my office, plopped down. He goes, I'm here. Why? It's like, so and so. Said I should talk to you. Okay. We got started, and he walked out of there with those things. Plus setting a date with his wife once a week. Sounds crazy.

Josh Wilson:

That's cool.

Kris:

At the end of the year, we did a full annual session with this whole team, and he pulled me aside and goes, dude, I want to tell you something. I really want to say thank you, because you taught me how to think this year. That was one of the more humbling things I've heard because of the impact that they're doing. His task was to turn the radio off when he was driving. He lived about 45 minutes outside of town, so he would drive in with no radio, nothing on, and just think, and he would come up with clarity on what his day looked at and how he could do these things. For him, he was a religious, spiritual person. He'd listen to Bible verses on the way home. Right on. He was putting the intention and clarity behind how he was moving that forward on what he wanted, and it transitioned him from that reactive hair on fire, whack tap mobile place.

Josh Wilson:

Yeah. This stuff seems so weird. It doesn't. I promise. Man, if you would have told me this live in my 20s or whatever I was fighting fires or building real estate companies or whatever I was doing, I would have said, you are absolutely nuts. Get away from me right now. The older I'm getting and the more time I'm forced to either face myself in the mirror right? Because I have to make changes. The last couple of years, I've had to make massive changes in my life, and the more time I'm spending quiet and trying to understand, right? If you believe in God, how did he create the universe? How did he create me with a subconscious and a conscious, a spirit and a soul, a body like intent and such like that? Do I really have this connection to God or this Holy Spirit or whatever it is? It's weird, but the more I pay attention to it, the more I'm realizing that high performers, like some of the greatest minds and high performers are trying to find these answers too, and find this for themselves. I'm so thankful that you are talking to me and us, this community of guys, because this is so needed and nobody talks about it, I feel. Or if they do, talk about the weird guy wearing a skirt, sitting on a rock, doing flips with no undies on or something like that, right? It's so cool to hear a businessman, a successful guy, saying these kind of things. I want to honor you and say thank you for chatting with us about this. You wrote, I see two books. You might have written more. I see two books. Are those the ones that you wrote? Give a shout out to the books you've written and why did you write those?

Kris:

And thank you very much, man. For me, that's part of the being fearless. The thing is, if you don't buy into it, I'm cool with it, no worries. It works for me and I know it works for others. If you're not picking ups what I'm laying down, no worries, someday you might. The first book was the Aspiring Solopreneur your Business Guide to Start Ups. Like I said, I've started a lot of businesses and this was precovid. Part of the other economy economic shifts were going through is we are seeing the massive expansion of the gig economy and the idea of what is work. It doesn't have to be 40 hours a week punching the clock, going into the salt min. It could be 30 hours a week doing something else. Where we live here, the number of hipsters we see living in, sprinter vans and doing their gig, it's awesome. But so that's specific. To help people with that. I've got a few workbooks around helping people with Life on Your terms. One is specifically for the unemployed. It's the unemployed. Unemployed and miserably employed. It's how to find a job that you love. Because if you don't love it's not f****** worth it. Don't do it. Find what lights you up and then you win. The most recent is life on your terms, discovering what's next. It's a fable and it's probably my favorite. The solopreneur is really good. It's gotten some awards, but I admit it's a little dr. The fable is pretty quick and fast, and that helps. It's worthy because it helps people maybe shift their thinking on how to start looking at success differently.

Josh Wilson:

What is success for you? Right. You've got a few zeros in the bank account. You've done well for yourself financially. You turn your health around. You got a great relationship with is it Rica? Okay. What does success look like for you today?

Kris:

Success for me today, I think I have it. We actually have our entire strategic plan. This one's all worn out and worn out, but we do that every quarter. We do annual retreat. We do it every quarter. For me, the high level is, do I get to work with people I love? Maybe every time. Maybe we're being fearless. One of my values is fearlessly. Giving first for the betterment of others. It means I might get fired. If I'm not willing to call people out and help them fearlessly with compassion, then they shouldn't hire me. But it's less about the finance. The finance, oddly, the more I can let go of the financial concerns and focus on the impact and drive concerns. Finance follows. Finance is an abundance. Finance focusing on return on impact. Impacting and helping first with abundant mind. Bank account grows like crazy. If you only focus on bank account, it's hard to grow that. It sounds silly, but to me it's been a backward way of looking at it, but making health. Doing our tuna. Two plus months, a year of adventure travel. I want to get back into skiing. Oddly, this year we're going to do alpine touring, some backcountry stuff that we're going to push on. We have our specific goals and everything written down and we actually have metrics and we do a date night check in once a week and we check on our quarters and we hold each other accountable. We're and one of the different ones is we haven't been happy with our spirituality. We did the balance wheel and weren't happy with that. We've been exploring different we're very intentionally doing one thing each quarter, exploring different aspects of spirituality that fit for Rica as a being raised Muslim and for me being raised Catholic. What's going to be our fit and how do we interpret it for us?

Josh Wilson:

Yeah, man. I love that you're searching because I think when you stop searching, you stop growing. Right? I think we should always seek. Right. If you believe in the Bible, it says seek fine. Knock, hunt. Right.

Kris:

Live.

Josh Wilson:

Look for this s***. It's there. And you'll find these things. And you are an interesting person. This is really cool, having a conversation with you. This is what I love about podcast shows is you can meet really cool people and then share the wisdom and knowledge collectively. Other people get to sit in as a fly in the wall on the conversations. One of the things you said is you want to be bold, you want to be courageous, you want to be fearless besides maybe the death of a loved one or lack of health or something like that, right? Live some of the obvious. What do you think consumes you with fear the most?

Kris:

Well, oddly, we just had a funeral last weekend, an amazing experience. 53 year old good friend of ours for 30 years past of liver cancer.

Josh Wilson:

Wow.

Kris:

It's worthy since this is irreverent uncensored. She was a sexual trauma nurse, and she just did God's work and just an absolute machine min the mountain biking and back country and all this, but she would say and just go to the most awkward, uncomfortable places and laugh her a** off all the time just because she live to just keep poking at people, literally. The speeches were not even anything even remotely what you would expect in a funeral. The start was a quote from her and her caring bridge, which is the social platform for people who are in hospice. Her quote was, well, today I realize the three most important things in life a good belly laugh, an amazing o*****, and a quality bowel movement.

Josh Wilson:

What else do you need?

Kris:

That's where the whole thing started. There were other things that really got us thinking that came out of that, I think, and we've really reflected on those things. What are the things that scare us? I got to tell you, there's not much except for my imposter syndrome on being relevant. I want to be relevant and have an impact. We didn't have kids, and I think the most noble thing possible, weren't able to and long story on those things, but I think the most noble thing is to be a great husband and a great dad, and so that isn't there. I think the world had intentions for something else, and I think that's life on your terms and those other pieces, but it's making sure that I'm relevant, that's probably my if I'm really vulnerable, I don't want to be irrelevant.

Josh Wilson:

Yeah, man, there's so many questions. I've got to go there. What would happen if you felt irrelevant? Live what would that look like? Your worst nightmare. You get up on stage and nobody's there, or you write a book and nobody reads it, or someone says, I just don't care. Live what does that look like?

Kris:

I think both of those. I've done those, so I've dusted myself off from those. I think the biggest thing is knowing in my heart what my intention and presence was. This is good stream of consciousness, me figuring this out. I can't make anyone make me feel I'm relevant. Nobody on the planet can make me feel relevant. Only I can define if I'm relevant or not. Today I asked before, what can I be of greatest value? You said, just be genuine and just be as good as you can be naked. It's like if I go through everything, I do in life and try and be 100% present with you and be willing to be completely vulnerable and lay that out there, and it falls flat, that's okay. If I start being fearful or I start trying to manipulate or I start trying to hide that, then even if others like that, I know I'm not as relevant as I could be. So that just helped me. So thank you for meeting me. Walk through that. This is good therapy. Send me the bill.

Josh Wilson:

Ten grand. Funny story. I was coaching a guy, and I spent a few minutes with him, and I just kind of tweaked his. I've just seen 10,000, probably business models. He was talking, I tweaked it, and he goes, oh, man, how much do I owe you? It was like a 20 minutes conversation. I was like, ten grand. He goes, Done. I was like, I got to do that again. I was like, whatever I just did there, let's do that again. This is therapy for me too. I was going bankrupt. My dad died. I was going through surgery myself. I had to put my dog down. I was going through massive turmoil with my family, and this was uncensored advice flofr for men to show sprung up out of that. I was interviewing people and getting free coaching, and I was interviewing the world leading expert on laughing or happiness or this or that, and I was just asking all these questions that I have or had, and so this free therapy for me too. We're from the same boat, brother, as you're, going through life. You're 55, I'm 40. 20 years from now, we're hanging out. I come visit you in Colorado. We just did a massive walk, man, we had a blast, right? We get back, and we're sitting on the front porch, and the sun's come up, and we're drinking some coffee, and we look back, and we said, we did it. A million people we crushed it way before 75. We actually quadrupled it. 4 million people. Who your goal? 4 million people impacted to live life differently and on their terms. One of those people reach out to you, right, and they have a thank you note live. What does that what does that look like? For them to have been impacted by you and your vision?

Kris:

I'll give you three specific examples. I worked with a group in the UK about a year ago. Guy emailed me, said, hey, dude, I want to let you know what you started there and where that is. I'm now down £140.

Josh Wilson:

Holy moly.

Kris:

I'm playing competitive rugby again. I've changed jobs. Romantic life is off the charts. Happy as could be. I had another couple. She had been a heavy hitter in Wall Street. On Wall Street. He had this own his own company. They came to retreat here at the house in Colorado. She literally stood up in the middle of session, when were doing the visioning exercise, she had 58. She started crying, and she stood up. She said, I can't f****** believe it, but I don't know how to f****** dream anymore. And she was crushed. She couldn't figure that out. We spent time helping her figure out her dream. A month ago, they sent me a note in a picture of their new house where they moved to Nashville, living completely different and changing their live. Another couple was living in the city. They wanted to move the mountains. First time they tried it fell flat. They sent us a note a week ago and said, hey, just want to let you rica know we now live in Briggs, Idaho, work in Jackson. We feel like the luckiest cats on the planet again. In some cases, it can be money, but usually it's more about creating that partnership, that alignment, that purpose, something in their intention, in their heart. Don't get me wrong, it's not cheap, but you figure out if somebody could figure that out, come out what's that worth. That, to me, is when I get those notes, I get all goose bumped up. And it's extraordinary. It's that kind of thinking. By the way, your number the number is when I'm 60. In 67 or in 27 is the million. So your 4 million isn't far off. I think it'll grow exponentially.

Josh Wilson:

Yeah, I do too. I believe it, man. During this interview, there's probably a question I should have asked you. Now you can't say, here's how to contact me and such. We'll get to that. There's probably a question I should have asked you, like, hey, Josh, it's right in front of you, bro. You missed it. What questions should I have asked you?

Kris:

I think I talk the whole time, so I don't need to give you time to ask questions. I can't think anything off to of my head. That's rare. I'm rarely in my speech list, I guess.

Josh Wilson:

I got one for you.

Kris:

Okay.

Josh Wilson:

All right. You got some zeros in the bank account. You're doing okay. You got some properties. I know you're an investor and you do well for yourself. Let's just say you had a document, and you can sign it all away to capture one piece of wisdom or to have one question answered. What question would you have answered that you're willing to trade all of your wealth, all of your money, all of your assets for?

Kris:

Well, I'm stumbling.

Josh Wilson:

That's a tough one, right? Because you're like that is a tough one. I don't know, because how would I respond if I got the answer I didn't like? Would it be worth it? Would I have regrets? I have this stuff, and I don't want to lose Ian Hill. I make it again. Right?

Kris:

Okay. You got it.

Josh Wilson:

Okay.

Kris:

How can I become the absolute best me possible. I trade everything for that. If there was a genie that could say, you have to do these things and you will become absolutely the best you, I trade everything min a heartbeat. Because that means that then if you could start over with that knowledge, nothing else matters.

Josh Wilson:

That's pretty awesome. Do you want to hear something that will blow your mind that I just recently read? I interviewed a guy, and he was talking to me about the subconscious. I'm like, dude, you're woohoo and I love you. He started sharing, and I won't go into too much, but he says, that genie is your subconscious. I was like and he goes, when you ask, the subconscious is always going, what is it you want? Be clear with your intent and let me grant your wish is my command. The subconscious is always working for you. I was just like, man, that's interesting. He compared it, but anyways, that's another story. You are freaking awesome. Chris and I really enjoyed our time together today.

Kris:

Oh, my goodness, dude, this is so humbling and so fun. Thank you for meeting me. Just ramble all over the place. I'm truly humbled. So thank you.

Josh Wilson:

Yeah, Min. You're welcome. For guys out there who are like, dude, Chris is awesome. I want him to coach me. I want him to help me dream again. I want him to get me back in the game. I lost my way. I lost my essence. They want to connect with you, and they want to invest in working with you. Where could they go to find you?

Kris:

They can go to lifeonyourms.com or they can reach out. I like you. I'm on the social platforms, but candidly, I pay somebody to manage all the social platforms, so it looks like I'm there. You can go to LinkedIn kristopher with Akkristopher and Kluver. K-L-U-V as in victor e r. Cool.

Josh Wilson:

You're awesome, man. Fellas in the audience, as always. Love you guys. I'm so thankful that you guys are reaching out and you're asking questions, that you're consuming this information and these conversations and you're giving me some feedback. You're like, Josh, that was terrible, or that one was great. Or you should have asked this question because you're helping me get better. Because I know what questions to ask when you guys are asking me. If you guys are struggling with something, you're not alone. Head over to uncensored advice flofr men.com. Fill out a quick form. I reach out to every single person who fills out that form. Other platforms I do not, by the way, but this is something that this is my mission, my purpose, and I'm so thankful for you guys. If you've got some advice that you'd like to share, do the same and we'll get you on the show. Love you guys. You on the next episode.

Kristopher Kluver Profile Photo

Kristopher Kluver

Speaker, Author, Strategic Advisor

Kris Kluver is a dedicated speaker, facilitator, advisor, seasoned entrepreneur, and bestselling author of The Aspiring Solopreneur: Your Business Start-Up Bible as well as The Fable: Life on Your Terms, part of the Defining What’s Next series. He has helped thousands of individuals, couples, and organizations find balance and achieve more than they ever thought possible using simple tools, candid facilitation, and unique stories.
Kris is a Certified Speaker with EO, the Entrepreneur Organization and a graduate of the EO Global Speakers Academy. Kris has extensive speaking and virtual speaking experience both nationally and internationally with groups ranging from CEO’s to university students.
Kris empowers others to achieve success through real-life examples, stories and analogies. Understanding that everyone is in one of four stages of life; Stabilize, Visualize, Strategize or Execute, Kris meets people where they are at by integrating his extensive business strategy experience with proven tools and a fun attitude. Once individuals are aware of where they are starting from, they learn how to dream about what an amazing, well-balanced life can look like. From here they build a simplified strategy with clear action steps to achieve their dreams.
As a result, people begin to think differently, dream and thrive.
Kris and his wife, Reka, provide talks, workshops and retreats focused on applying the Life on Your Terms methodologies to couples, individuals, and teams. These applications result in helping people to identify success on their terms, streamline communication, create partner champions (not saboteurs), and obtain their ideal life.
Kris is the founder and principal of Life on Your Terms and Entrepreneurial Advisors, a strategic advisory and management facilitation firm that works with leaders in the United States and Europe. As a seasoned entrepreneur with over 35 years of actual, in the trenches experience, Kris started his first of fifteen companies at the age of nineteen. Since then, he has been involved with businesses ranging from consulting, real estate, online services, counseling, advertising, financial services, and many more. Kris has seen the inner workings of hundreds of businesses, some good, some ugly, all interesting. Some successes have included eight figure exits, helping a company go public, 10X growth spurts, the successful restructuring of billion-dollar organizations and much more. On an individual level, Life on Your Terms has helped individuals to discover their purpose, reconnect with loved ones, create alignment with their partners and empower people to embrace their next chapter in life. Kris likes to say it is exciting to help companies make a lot of money, but it is life changing when you can help someone find and achieve their dreams.
Kris has studied entrepreneurial strategy at Harvard Business School and is a fellow at York University in the United Kingdom. He lives in the high country of Colorado with his spouse, Reka, where they live life on their terms embracing outdoor activities, adventure travel and endurance events.