Recovering From A Misdiagnosis with Dr Allen Lycka

Josh Wilson
 Good day, fellas. I love you guys. Welcome back to Uncensored Advice for Men. We just published live episode number 200 or something like this. You guys have been incredible. Some of the stories you shared with me going through divorces or bankruptcies or depression, thoughts of suicide, and you guys are just sharing your stories. A lot of you guys coming back and saying, hey, I want to share my story and maybe some advice that I learned along the way with the guys here on the show. I salute you guys for listening, and I salute you guys for digging in and investing in yourself, and then also for the brave ones that share their story here. I love you guys, and I appreciate you doing that. If you do want to share your story and share some advice from Uncensored advice for men.com, fill out a quick form. 

 Josh Wilson
 We'll get you on the show. With that. We're bringing in a Doctor Allen from Canada to talk about some things with you guys. So, Dr. Allen, welcome to the show. 

 Allen Lycka
 Thank you for having me. It's my pleasure to be here. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah, man. So, man, looking through some of the pre call show notes that our team put together, one of the things you love talking about is forgiving forgiveness. I just met with a guy this morning who says, I hold the grudge for decades. Right. Why don't you tell us about who you are and why is forgiveness such an important thing to talk about? 

 Allen Lycka
 I think you have to do in your life. It teaches you stories. One of the stories my life taught me is I was the top of my career in 2003 when I was walking in Disneyland with my wife Lucy, and my wife turned to me, and she said, what's wrong with you, hon. I was taken aback. Josh, for once in my life, I hadn't said anything wrong. I hadn't done anything wrong. I hadn't even done anything wrong. But she persisted. What's wrong with you? I said, Dear, I don't think anything's wrong. She said, Listen to your foot. I said, what do you mean, dear? That's one of the funniest things you've ever said. Well, she said, well, listen to it. Well, my right foot had suddenly and mysteriously developed a right foot draw. It was slapping on the paper with each step I was taking. 

 Allen Lycka
 Now, Josh, your brain is designed to lift up your foot with each step of staking. That way you walk, that way you don't fall on the pavement, your foot doesn't trip you. But my foot wasn't doing that. My wife said, did you have a stroke? I said no. I don't think so. She said, when you get back, you better get this checked out. Well, when your wife gives you that ultimatum, Josh, what do you do? 

 Josh Wilson
 Yes, ma'am. Or you run. 

 Allen Lycka
 If what's good for you say yes for sure. I got back, and I started seeing doctors who were friends, and they looked at me, and they couldn't find anything. They sent me to more doctors, who sent me to more doctors. At the end of the day, they still couldn't find anything wrong. They were befuddled. They thought I'd have a brain tumor. They thought I'd had a slip disc or something, but they couldn't find anything. Josh, when doctors can't find anything wrong, they do more tests and more tests. Why? They want to find answer. And there was no answer readily available. At the end of the day, there still wasn't answer. The doctors got together and said, we're going to send you to a world leading neurologist. A neurologist is a brain doctor. He's the doctor that has all the answers to these highly qualified problems. 

 Allen Lycka
 I walked in and I said hi. He said, Hi, but you better be sitting down when I tell you this. I said, Why, I have a drop right foot. He said, no, you don't. You have ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease. Get your affairs in order. In six months, you're going to be dead. 

 Josh Wilson
 This was in 2002. Thousand. 

 Allen Lycka
 And obviously there's something wrong. Here's a doctor that's supposed to know everything, and he's telling you, this is the only diagnosis that you have. This is all you've got. Get your affairs in order. I said, Is there a way to prove this diagnosis? And he said, of course, on autopsy. I slammed out, and I went out and I said, I'm not going to die to prove you wrong. But, you go through the phases of death and dying when you begin that diagnosis, Josh, you go through anger. You're angry at the world. Why? Because you've been dealt a bad deck of cards and you're not going to let it happen. You're angry at your wife, you're angry at your children, you're angry at your staff, you're angry at everybody. You can't tell them what's wrong because you've just been told you're going to die. You go through bargaining, oh, God, please don't let this happen. 

 Allen Lycka
 I'll do anything if you don't let this happen. I didn't think God was listening back then. You go through denial, you deny that there's something wrong, and I did. I work harder and harder, day and night, trying to figure it out. I couldn't. And then finally, you go through depression. Have you ever been depressed, Josh? 

 Josh Wilson
 Yes. 

 Allen Lycka
 It's one of the worst phases in the world, isn't it, Josh? 

 Josh Wilson
 Oh, man. Yeah, it sucks. It's an understatement. It's terrible. 

 Allen Lycka
 It is. You can't sleep, you can't eat, you can't do anything. You don't want to get out of bed. You stare at the ceiling all day long and you just have no motivation for anything. Yeah, but I wasn't going to let myself die from ALS, and I've seen people die from that terrible disease. I had a plan to kill myself if that was going to come about to that. I went to my wife and I said to my wife, dear wife, what do I have? She says, I have got the faintest idea. She said, but you're smart, you'll figure it out. I said, Dear, I've seen hundreds of doctors, they couldn't figure it out. She said, you probably haven't seen the right doctor yet. Back in the early 2000s, something new was invented. You might have heard about it. It's called the Internet. You ever hear of that beast? 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah, I've looked up some things on that before. 

 Allen Lycka
 Yeah. Isn't it crazy? Just in 20 years it's taken over the world and we can't do anything without it now. It really has changed the way we look at everything. But my friends were nerds back then. They helped me get on it because the internet was so primitive back then. You couldn't get on by regular means. You couldn't use Dr Google. You couldn't do you use Dr Yahoo? You had to go on by dialogue connections. You'd put your phone on a cradle, it would go flofr, live 15 minutes, and if it connected, you'd get to the other side. You have to use a primitive language like Das to communicate, because there is no memory in commuters. My friends help you find a doctor in Colorado Springs, Colorado, by the name of David Martz. David had a story similar to mine, but he got worse much more rapidly, and within days he was on his deathbed, while doctors loved him so much that they came up to say goodbye to him. 

 Allen Lycka
 A doctor, Harvey, came up from Texas and he looked at David and he said, I don't think you have ALS. David said, what do I have? The doctor from Texas said, I think you've been bitten by a tick. I think it's caused a disease called chronic Lyme's disease. It's similar to it looks just like ALS. Unless about it, you'll misdiagnose it. Well, David said, what do I do? The doctor from Texas said, you don't need to do anything. I'll put you on treatment and if I'm right, you'll get better. Like Lazarus, he arose from the dead. Within two weeks, he was back to his normal self. I knew I had to go down. I got down to see David. David said some magic words when I got there. He said, I think history is meeting itself. He said, Dr. Leica, I think I could start you on treatment and you will get better. 

 Allen Lycka
 That's why I was able to start on a pathway to help myself and get to where I am now. And that's why I talk about forgiveness. I could have been angry at that doctor that misdiagnosed me. I could have been angry about the whole process. I think life is about forgiveness. You have to forgive others that have hurt you along the way. That way you team chat, way you get to the stage you need to be at. That way you literally get better for what you're at, not worse. 

 Josh Wilson
 Doctor Allen, how frustrating was it? Right? You're a doctor, you're a leading expert, you have a radio show, your top of the class as a doctor, cosmetic surgeon, right? I think, yes, if I got that right. How frustrating was it that you couldn't just find a diagnosis, take a few pills or do a few things or say a few Hail Mary's and then fix it? 

 Allen Lycka
 It's extremely frustrating. Doctors can only know what they know. They cannot know what they do not know. Chronic Lyme's disease wasn't even thought of as a disease back in the early two thousand s. Even now doctors debate whether it exists or not. How can you expect doctors to make a diagnosis that doesn't even exist now? Now I'm going to ask you, how could you have made the diagnosis of Covenant disease at the early Startup Covenant disease? 

 Josh Wilson
 Interesting. 

 Allen Lycka
 How could you event name thought of it yet in March 2020 that started spreading around the globe like wildfire and that has taken up all of mankind for the last two years. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah, we don't know what we don't know. A lot of times we forget that medicine is an art. Right. The practice of medicine. I spent some time in medicine and one of the things that I always fear is getting the diagnosis of you better get your, whatever diagnosis it is. Hearing this from a doctor, you better get your what did you say? Get your affairs in order. That means, Holy s***, I got to go do something. Whatever mistakes I've made in my life, whatever unforgiveness or whatever relationships I broke in, whatever, you better go get your fares in life, because you don't have much time. Sometimes we forget that when we're younger and when we're running really fast in life. That was a scary thing to hear, I assume, right? 

 Allen Lycka
 Oh, it is. It's a very scary thing to get north. I mean, to be given the deadline, say, look, you've got six months to live. You better get your things together. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah. The truth of the matter, if we really look at this and we want to get deep, which I'd like to do, is we all have a deadline. We all have an expiration date. We don't know what it is. Sometimes when we know what it is, it gives us more purpose and more focus. Right now, in the history of mankind, I think only a few people have made it out without dying. The mortality rate is d*** near close to 100%. Right. But your life does have a deadline. You do have an expiration date. You're probably going to die. How did the reality of your mortality affect you in your real estate? 

 Allen Lycka
 I think it slaps you right in the face and he says, I've done all these wonderful things, but it's going to end, and it's going to end right here. I better get comfortable with it. You know? Life is going to end at this point in time, but that is something that has taught me a lot. You have to live every day to the fullest, Josh, that every day is a day that has to be lived as if it's your last day on Earth, because you're not promised that next day on Earth at all. You are not promised that you're going to be given another day to do anything. You better do every day as if it's your last day. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah. How did you show up angry? Right. So the stages of grief right. You mentioned them, some of them. The last one is kind of acceptance. Did I miss any of them? 

 Allen Lycka
 No, that's it. 

 Josh Wilson
 Okay. How did you show up angry? 

 Allen Lycka
 I was angry at everything. I would swear I'd curse. My staff knew as mad all the time. My daughters knew I was mad all the time. My wife knew. I was ready to blow my steam, my stack all the time. I was just angry at the world. I could bite the head off nails. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah, I get it. You said I stepped into bargaining, and I was bargaining with life, bargaining with God. But you felt that God wasn't listening. Talk us through that. I've been in situations. I'm like, Where the heck are you? Right? And I'm struggling. I don't feel like I have support. I don't feel like you're hearing me. Right. I'm praying to God or whatever. You said you didn't feel like God was listening. Walk us through what was going on. 

 Allen Lycka
 Oh, God, please don't let this happen. I'll do anything if you don't let this happen. Well, look where I am now. Look where I am right now versus where I was then. God was listing, but he had a different plan for me than the plan that I thought I should be on. He literally had a different agenda for what I wanted to do. Here I was, okay, I want to do this and this no, I want you to be a podcaster. I want you to be a syndicated radio show. I want you to help people in other ways. I don't want you to be on this path of being a cosmetic dermatologist anymore. I want you to get out of that arena and come over here. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah. A couple of hundred grand to get this license to do this stuff. I dedicated my life to it. I wrote books on it. I became world renowned for this thing. You want me to go buy a microphone. 

 Allen Lycka
 You want me to buy a smartphone and learn how to do a podcast. But, that was the plan that I was supposed to be on. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah. At what point did you realize that God potentially was listening? Now, I don't know your faith, I don't know your journey and your testimony there, but you said, the feeling that I got is he was listening. 

 Allen Lycka
 It came, interestingly enough when I went through this and I realized I wasn't going to die from ALS and so on, I started to get back to society. When you go through a journey like I did, you can either become harsher or you can decide to change your life around. I started to give back to an organization called the YWCA Women of Distinction. I decided to support women in their roles in society. Because, Josh, women are not given all the kudos that they still need in our society. US men don't give that to women very readily. So we literally take that to ourselves. I sponsored this gala event, and a woman by the name of Harriet Tinker decided to apply for an award. She decided to applaud for award called the Turning Point Award. Now, Harriet was amazing, but she had a story similar to mine, but very different. 

 Allen Lycka
 Harriet was a world leading model, walking the cat ropes of New York and Milan and Paris. She grew tired of that industry because it's a dog eat dog industry. She decided to go to her second love, which was accounting. She decided to take that up at the University of Calgary in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. There she was befriended by a person who is a psychopath who kidnapped her, stabbed her, and left her for dead. 

 Josh Wilson
 Whoa. That's a turn of events. Yeah. Okay. 

 Allen Lycka
 She doesn't know how she got to the hospital, but when she got there, she was going through rehab, and a little girl by the name of Amber came up. She was wheeling up in a wheelchair, and Amber looked at Harriet and said, Harriet, what's her story? Harriet told her story, and all the dismay that she did, and Amber gave her help. She said, Harriet, I lost both of my parents in a car accident. I also have lost use of my legs. She said, I'm going to do something with myself. I challenge you to do something with yourself as well. That's why Harriet had applied for that award. She wanted to get the award not to win the award, but to meet me, to convince me to write a book. That's where we wrote a book called The Secrets to Living. A fantastic live and we spent years writing it together. 

 Allen Lycka
 The book is really what convinced me that God is there. God has taught us, and God has a pathway for all of us. 

 Josh Wilson
 How to secrets. Say the book again. 

 Allen Lycka
 The secrets to living a fantastic life. 

 Josh Wilson
 All right. I always like to do this when I'm having a conversation with another kitcaster live. I love what you're doing, and it's super cool. Where can people find your people are listening in to this podcast, so obviously they enjoy podcast or they find value in it. Where can people find your podcast? 

 Allen Lycka
 The easiest way is on my website, Dr. Alan leica.com. There's over 125 there, and they can also find my book there as well. That's the easiest source for everything about me. 

 Josh Wilson
 So, fellow listeners, dudes, as always, go take a look at what our guests are doing. Pause this. Go to that podcast, subscribe to it, listen to it later on, give it a raving review, and find value and find answers and seek and find some cool stuff. The Secrets of Living a Fantastic Live anytime I'm meeting with someone who's older, wiser, more experienced in life than me, and it's usually evidenced by gray hair. Anytime I speak with a silver top, I want to capture wisdom. All right. Secrets to living a fantastic life. Give us some of the golden nuggets out of there to help us, guys. 

 Allen Lycka
 I think the best way to think of it is, we looked for things that were inside of people, things that everybody had inside of them. We call them golden pearls, not golden nuggets, because golden nuggets sounds too much, Mike, like McDonald's. A pearl has a very easy story. A pearl starts because a grain of sand gets in an oyster shelf, and that oyster shell, then that oyster walls it off with this beautiful material, gold luster. Now, golden pearls actually exist. They exist in the South Pacific, but they are so rare and solitary that a single, solitary pearl could cost upwards of $10,000. That's why we call them gold and pearl. 

 Josh Wilson
 Got it. You said that you try to look for something that everyone has inside them. Yeah, right. 

 Allen Lycka
 Let me tell you a story from the blog. Each chapter has a story in it. One of my stories is about enthusiasm and enthusiasm. I talk about a carpenter by the name of Fred. Fred had worked in the same industry for the same boss for 45 years. And he was tired. He said, I can't do this anymore. He went to his boss and said, boss, I'm done. I just can't do this anymore. The boss said, Whoa, Fred, you've taken me by a back. You've helped me with every host we've ever built. Can you do just one more thing for me before you leave? Of course, boss. I've loved it here. This is the only job I've ever had. He said, well, just build me one more house. You're my master carpenter. Can you do that for me? And Fred said, sure, I'll do it. But he did it begrudgingly. 

 Allen Lycka
 He dragged his a** to work every day. He got the job done and at the end, a miracle happened. The house passed inspection. He went back to his boss and he threw the keys on the desk and he said, I'm done. The boss said, Just wait, we're going to have a party. They popped the champagne, they had the caviar, they had everybody in the office come around to say their goodbyes to Fred. The boss said, Just wait, we're going to have a little speech. Everyone. This is Fred's last day. I'm really sad about that, but Fred is going to be very happy. Fred, I've got a present for you. Here's the keys to the last house you ever built. New York. Live in it with all the enthusiasm that you ever showed for me. Now, the reason I tell you that, Josh, is enthusiasm is not a Monday thing. 

 Allen Lycka
 It's not a Tuesday thing, it's not a Friday thing. It's something you carry to every task in every day. That's what makes the difference in everything you do. 

 Josh Wilson
 If you knew that, if Fred knew that, how would he showed up differently? 

 Allen Lycka
 Well, would that house be a spectacular house? Wouldn't it be like a palace, like all the other houses he built? Wouldn't it be just an extraordinary house instead of just this thing he threw together to get the job done? 

 Josh Wilson
 The likelihood of that happening to me, right, I show up and I do podcast interviews and I'm trying to put myself in other men's shoes out there. They're like team chat. Story is far fetched. Nobody's going to hand over key to the house. I'm a plumber, I'm a builder, I'm a podcast. SOP s real estate guy or whatever, fill in the blank or whatever and there's like, okay, Josh, let me challenge you. 

 Allen Lycka
 If you don't do the best job you do at podcasting, who's going to listen to you? If you don't do the best job you do as plumbing, how many errors are you going to make and how many things are going to get? So I'm going to challenge you. Your job is to do the best at everything you always do, because that is what makes the difference in everything you do every day. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah, I agree with you. I agree when you find your people, when you find your identity, when you find your purpose live, you show up and you show ups fully. I'll tell you the truth, man, sometimes it's hard to show up fully because the crap of life gets kicked out of you get the diagnosis, or even worse, your kids get a diagnosis, or you're struggling financially and you've got your you're running through all these issues and you're at odds with the wifey, and you're just struggling to show up to work, right? What about for those guys out there for us who's struggling? How do we show up with that enthusiasm, with that joy? I'm going to give it my best, Doc. I'm just trying to make it through, man. 

 Allen Lycka
 I think they got to take that cup of coffee, enjoy that cup of coffee, realize that cup of coffee is something pretty amazing, and get it done. Realize that this show is going to be an extraordinary show because you and I are on it. Realize that we put the words together on it to really cause the listeners out there to have an extraordinary experience. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah, all right, I'm with you. I believe this. As a podcast host, it's my responsibility to ask the crazy questions that pop up in my head, but also to put myself in the shoes of my audience and to say, what's this guy? Because I have a lot of guys who meet with me offline. We're not allowed to record it because some of the stuff they're sharing with me is very private. I asked the questions that they ask, and I ask the questions that I ask or the questions that I asked when I was in my depression. I think that's the responsibility that I hold as Kitcaster is to do that, to represent the audience. Well, let me ask you this, doc, right? You and I sorry to call you that, doctor, you spend a lot of money to acquire that licensure. Doctor Allen. You and I go back with what today. 

 Josh Wilson
 You and I go back to the angry Doctor Allen of 2004 who just got his death sentence. He's angry and he's showing up and he's p***** and all this stuff, his wife, his kids, daughter, everybody knows that he's angry. You're like, you got to show up with enthusiasm. Doctor Alan, how do you think you would have responded? 

 Allen Lycka
 I think life is. A journey. I think life shows us lessons and I think life shows us things along the way. Yes, sometimes it's hard, but if you realize that the journey is there and you realize these stories are there to guide you along the way, that it's much easier for you to look at things and say, hey, maybe I should take this other turn. Maybe I should take this other turn. Yes, I'm depressed, but guess what? If I don't find the pathway, I am going to die. You have to push yourself into all those things that how to do, and this is your obligation to help yourself along the way, and it's your requirement to get from point A to point B, and only you can do that. No one else can do that, Josh. No one else can make you do anything except yourself. 

 Josh Wilson
 Give us another golden pearl. 

 Allen Lycka
 Okay, I'm going to just look up. 

 Josh Wilson
 In my book here for you guys out there. It's, Doc. D R allen. A-L-L-E-N Lycka.com. And his books. There is podcast there. It's a great place for yeah, I'll just correct that. 

 Allen Lycka
 It's doctor D-R-A-L-L-E-N lycka.com. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah. 

 Allen Lycka
 Okay, so let me go. One of the hardest things for men to talk about, one of the hardest things for men ever to get into is love. Each of our chapters begins with a quote. The quote I start with is me at the beginning of the chapter of Love, saying, I believe that dreaming is stronger than reality, desire is more potent than apathy, hope is more powerful than despair, joy always triumphs over sorrow, that laughter is the ultimate cure for mankind's foibles. I believe that love is stronger than heat, the greatest gift of all. Now, love is one of those amazing things, Josh. It's one of the things that you get more by giving more of. I think men have a hard time with realizing that a lot of times they want to take love, but they don't want to give it back. 

 Josh Wilson
 Take love but not live it back. How does that show up for most guys? What does that look like? 

 Allen Lycka
 Well, I think it's a narcissistic personality. I think most guys would say they're recovering aholes, that they have this concept, but they just want to take without giving. 

 Josh Wilson
 What's it look like to give love as a man? 

 Allen Lycka
 I this it means doing it selflessly without expecting things in return. It's like helping your partner in respect in ways that you wouldn't have thought of otherwise. If you're in a married situation, you have children well, you take equal care of the children and you are involved in all aspects of their life. Getting them to the games, getting them to the sports, getting them to everything, getting them to all the activities they're involved in, being involved in all those activities. I find that my phase of life. Being a grandfather, it's one of the greatest joys to be involved in all those things without having to be in their care. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah, I heard being a grandparent is awesome. I heard it's even better than being a parent. You have to make it through the stages to get there, right? Doctor Allan, as we're going through this interview and as you're building your podcast show, and as God gave you this new purpose, right, to share joy, to share love, and to teach people how to live their fantastic life, what do you think is getting in the way the most for men to actually get there? 

 Allen Lycka
 I think men have a hard problem defining their purpose and I think they have to define what their purpose is in life. Live. My purpose in life is to empower people to live their best life in a context of laughter, enthusiasm, live, thankfulness and happiness. Those are the things I strive to do each and every day to make a person, to make myself have a totally fulfilled life. I think men have to define their purpose as well. I think that's a difficult thing for men to do in the 21st century with all this things coming out all the time. 

 Josh Wilson
 Totally. Yeah, man. Just even during this interview together live, you and I are talking. I'm getting phone calls and text messages from the wife. My son's not feeling well from the schools, five years old, he's live the champion of my live. Constantly we are bombarded with life struggles, with pressure, with people that we love, that we want to take care of and help when it comes to living our best life. You said one of the hardest things you found or that you think me are facing is that we're having a hard time defining our purpose. Now, when it comes to defining your purpose, you wrote it down and you're an author, speaker, a coach, and you have defined your purpose, but your purpose has changed. You used to be a doctor of dermatology and cosmetic something, right? Like a lot of letters and a lot of cool stuff that you've done. 

 Josh Wilson
 How do what your purpose is, and when it changes? How do how to pivot or when to pivot? 

 Allen Lycka
 In my book I have a chapter on purpose. The purpose chapter is something based on Japanese connect called Icky Guy. I'm just going to look that up for us here so that we can refer to it. The Japanese concept of ikigai refers to four overlapping circles. The first circle is that which you love. The second circle is that which you're good at. The this circle is that which the world needs. The fourth circle is that which you can be paid for. The interlap of all those things is your Icky Guy. By looking for all those things, putting them all together. I think you have a better concept of what your purpose in the world is. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah, so many times in life I think Collins wrote this in Good to grade about the hedgehog principle, things that you're good at, best in class. There's a market need for this. You could get paid for it. Right. I don't think he actually put something that you really enjoy. But the Japanese with Ika guy. I think I said it right. Kind of put these I think when it comes to getting paid for guys. A lot of times show up and they work and they just do stuff because it provides. It makes money and stuff like that because the world needs it. And maybe they're good at it. I think a lot of guys get stuck in a rut of doing something because it's making money. The world needs it, but they actually hate it. They can't wait to escape from their job or from their work, and they go have a beer, drowned out with some whatever, or go play golf, and they can't wait to escape the job or retire. 

 Josh Wilson
 When it comes to purpose, a lot of guys purpose is wrapped around their career. What advice do you have for guys there? 

 Allen Lycka
 I think men are more related to their careers and their families, but I think that has changed as well. My youngest daughter is pregnant right now, so she's going to take the first three months off flofr maternity leave, and then her husband is going to take the next six months off for paternity leave. Wow. There is a big shift from what used to be. It used to be, no, the male would keep on working. The female would just keep on doing the home care stuff. I think you have to look at the shift of things and the things that are changing that way. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah. Interesting. Take a guy, Doctor Allen talk about in your world, right? You're doing something that you love. You show up, you speak, you encourage, you inspire, you're good at it. The world needs that. You're paid for it. Are you finding full purpose in what you're doing? Are there any days that you wake up and you're like, man, I feel off, I feel misaligned. I don't feel that full purpose, that full drive, that full feedback from the. 

 Allen Lycka
 World or God, to be honest, every day I'm just so happy to still be alive and doing the things that I am doing. Remember, I was supposed to be dead in 2003. That changes your perspective on everything in live. It changes your perspective on how you should be doing this. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah. So happy to be alive. That gratitude. Holy moly. That is a learned response in my thinking, because that's not a, that's event name acceptance right there's. Anger, bargaining, denial, depression, acceptance. Okay, I just accept whatever s*** is in front of me. Right. The gratitude is I'm thankful for that because that made me who I am today. I think that gratitude is the polvolt that gets us over the hump, I guess you would say. 

 Allen Lycka
 I think so. I think people should, every day look at the little and large things they're grateful for. They should have a gradient journal that allows them to do that. I think I'm going to challenge your listeners to do an act of gratitude today. Do something for somebody else today that they wouldn't regularly do. 

 Josh Wilson
 Give us an example. Like, what do you mean by live? 

 Allen Lycka
 Go and buy a coffee for somebody in line at the coffee store instead of just buy your own, the next person in line. Do it anonymously. Go and knock on your neighbor's door and say, hi, is there anything I can do for you today? 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah, super cool. Now, behind you, is that a virtual background, or is that an actual library? Behind you? 

 Allen Lycka
 This is a virtual background. 

 Josh Wilson
 Okay, copy that. 

 Allen Lycka
 We've had to downsize. We went from a bigger house to a smaller house. Went to a downsized and we decided that virtual was better this way. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah. Cool. I didn't know if there was a bunch of books behind you. It's super awesome. But let's just say this, all right? I'm going to give a scenario. Everyone makes it out safe, but the house catches on fire. You just got this new house and everything's moved in, and such house catches in fire. You could only grab one book and one material possession. Everybody gets out safely. What book and what material possession would you grab out of your house? 

 Allen Lycka
 Well, I think I grabbed my computer. It's got everything on it on my laptop. What else would I do? I don't know. I don't think I need much else. Everything else is on there. Everything else is on virtual space these days, so I don't think we have to be too concerned about that. 

 Josh Wilson
 Yeah, okay. Copy that. As you're podcasting taking the stage, TEDx speaking and interviewing other people, what has been your favorite memory, like, the most memorable moment of doing this? If you look back and put a. 

 Allen Lycka
 Memory to it, I look back at it, and it's been a charmed experience. I look back at all the stages I've been on and the messages I've given, and truly, it really is. Being on the TEDx stage is something that is something you should always be thankful for, because it's one of the most anxiety provoking things, but at the same time, one of the most amazing things. 

 Josh Wilson
 I speak for a living here, podcast shows and crap like that, but I am terrified of public speaking. I've run into fires. I wrestled alligators, fought fires, fought people, and I'm scared to write a book. I'm scared to get up on stage because the fear of being exposed or rejected is something. So kudos to you for doing it. When I'm asked to do it, sometimes I do it, but man, it is one of the scariest things. How do you get over the anxiety of that when you're about to jump on the stage in front of thousands of eyes and ears? How do you do it? 

 Allen Lycka
 I think you just got to realize that s*** happens and you're good with all the s*** that happens. When I did my TEDx Talk, I was the lead dog. I get up there and my slides are supposed to come up pointing towards me, and sure enough, they don't do the thing they're doing. I have to add libit for the first five minutes. Now that's good because I know my talk inside and out. I know it left, right and center. I know it backwards and forwards. Do you think anybody in the audience even knew I had that difficulty? 

 Josh Wilson
 I'm assuming it was great. I haven't watched it. Pardon me for not seeing it, but I assume it went great. 

 Allen Lycka
 It went fantastic. 

 Josh Wilson
 Nice. 

 Allen Lycka
 You got to be comfortable with stuff happening in your life. You can't control what you can't control. 

 Josh Wilson
 Man, for a control freak, that is tough. How do you surrender? How do you release that control? Because I like maintaining control of money and budget and health. I'm out of freaking control because there's things I can't control. 

 Allen Lycka
 At the end of the day, if you're one step closer to your task, you're there. 

 Josh Wilson
 What do you mean by that? 

 Allen Lycka
 Everybody should have a game plan for where they want to be, what they want to accomplish, and what they want to have at the end of the day. If you're one step closer towards that, then I think you're going to do well. 

 Josh Wilson
 I think there's guys and sometimes even my own life, where, man, I'm foggy of what my mission? What my purpose? What that next step even looks like? How do we find that? 

 Allen Lycka
 Well, I've given some tools today, and as I said, it's a journey. It's not something you're going to wake up tomorrow and get it all together and have it all there. You got to realize it's a process. 

 Josh Wilson
 Okay, so for guys who might need to need some help on that journey and maybe take a look at some of those tools, maybe even your book, one more time, where can guys go to connect with you and learn more from you? 

 Allen Lycka
 Doctor Allen. Lycka D-R-A-L-L-E-N lycka.com. And I offer a free discovery call. 15 minutes of my valuable time. 

 Josh Wilson
 Cool. Where guys could go, hey, this is what I'm working on. This is what I'm struggling with. What are your thoughts? You could point them to some resources or some help. Dr. Allen during this interview, there's probably a question that I should have asked you that I screwed up as a podcast host and did not ask you, what question is that? 

 Allen Lycka
 Jeez, I thought this went pretty smooth. I thought you did a pretty good job there. 

 Josh Wilson
 Thank you. 

 Allen Lycka
 I'm not going to say you screwed up along the way. I think you did an excellent job. I'm going to patch you on the back rather than say there's something you missed. 

 Josh Wilson
 All right, well, I received are there any questions that you wish someone would ask you? Then. 

 Allen Lycka
 As I say, get in touch with me. I'm an open book. Get to me@drellanlike.com. Even if you want to write me there, I would be happy to answer your connect your questions. 

 Josh Wilson
 Very cool, fellas. As always, reach out to our guests, especially man, if you need help along your journey, finding your purpose, finding some gratitude, finding some tools or resources to help you get out of a rut. Or maybe you're going through grief. Maybe something happened in your life at the moment and you're in the middle of a different stage of grief and you need some help moving forward. Our guests have devoted their valuable time to come on the show, to share their story, to share their books that they've written, which is really hard to do to put a book together. So if you're struggling, there's resources there. Reach out to our guests, say thank you for being on the show and ask for help. If you have some help that you would like to offer men in the community, come on the show on an uncensored show and share your testimony, your story and some advice. 

 Josh Wilson
 Head over uncensored advice for men. Men.com, fill out a quick form. Maybe we'll get you on the show next. Guys, I love you. I'm proud of you and I'm thankful for you. Talk to you all on the next episode. Bye, everybody.