Moments of Not Enough-Ness with Kevin Palmieri

Josh: 0:02

Good day fellows. Welcome to uncensored advice for men today. We're going to have a conversation with Mr. Kevin. Welcome to the show,

Kevin: 0:10

Josh. Thank you so much for having me, my friend. I'm excited to see where we go.

Josh: 0:14

Yeah. All right. Who are you and what do you do?

Kevin: 0:17

I am Kevin Paul, Mary. I am a podcaster, a speaker, a coach, and somebody who just is obsessed with getting better as much as humanly possible. I think there wasn't a lot of self-improvement personal development in my life when I was younger. I think having that around would have changed my life in many ways. Now I'm trying to play catch up.

Josh: 0:38

Sweet. Sweet. All right. Pot fellow podcaster, love talking to fellow podcasters. What's a, what's the name of your shop?

Kevin: 0:45

My show is next level university. We do seven episodes a week and we just recorded our 900th episode yesterday. That is the main thing I do. I'm blessed to be able to do that every day.

Josh: 0:57

Wow. Okay. You're doing pretty much one a day of your own shows and now you're coming on to other people's shows. What does your day look like Kevin?

Kevin: Oh my goodness. I'll use today. As an example, alarm clock went off at five o'clock. I do mobility foam roll while listening to a book. I'm at the gym by 5 45. I'm there till probably seven 30. Cause I do cardio come home, shower, feed the cats. I am in the office from 8:00 AM until 5:00 PM to 8: 1:08

00 PM, depending on the night. Every day is a little bit different. Today was coaching call on a podcast. Half-hour break on a podcast. We're recording three episodes after this, another coaching call, team, call another team call after that. I have seven or eight different things on zoom today.

Josh: 1:53

Very cool. All right. You pretty much spend all your life on podcasts. So you must like podcasts. How long have you been doing it?

Kevin: 2:00

I started in April of 2017 with it was called the hyper-conscious podcast when I started it. Cause most of my life I was living unconsciously and I figured, okay, what is the opposite of that? Hyper-conscious and I started like everybody else. I started with one episode a week. It was just a passion project at that point. I, I learned very quickly how much I loved this whole process. I never wanted to be a speaker. I never wanted to be a coach. I never wanted to be a podcaster that was never in the cards. When I did it, the first time something clicked, it was like, oh, this is what people talk about when they say they found their thing. I think I found my thing. That was the best feeling in the world, honestly.

Josh: 2:39

Yeah. All right. So let's backtrack a little bit. You said, you grew up in a world where you really didn't get exposed to personal development. Self-development you felt that you were living unconsciously. What the hell does that mean?

Kevin: 2:54

As a kid, I grew up in a single family. I was raised by my mom and my grandmother, mom and memes as I call her. There just was a lot of scarcity. There was a lot of, we're not going to be able to make rent this month. Here are the reasons we can't do these things. College was never really like an option for me. I didn't know. I didn't have anybody in my family who knew how to help me apply. I didn't know how to pay for it. There was a lot of scarcity in my upbringing. I think that scarcity is something I never dealt with. So I just went through my life. As I saw everybody else doing it, you go get a job, you make money. Hopefully you make enough money to be successful. And then everything kind of happens. I was a six-figure earner at 26. I remember one day after I opened my pay stub to show that I made six figures, I was miserable. Nothing changed, nothing changed with the money. I was just as miserable, if not more miserable. I think I assumed that it was going to fix my life and fix my problems. It was going to be the shining part of my life. But it wasn't. That's really what I figured like, okay, for the last 25 years, I've just kind of been going through life, waiting for the next thing to happen. I didn't design any of this, none of this that I designed. That was a sobering painful thought in a lesson. That is one of the big shifts in my life. I think that self-awareness the self-awareness of nothing is going to change unless I start changing it. If it does change, it's not going to be within my control. It might not be sustainable. I say I was living unconsciously that's it. I was relying on luck for everything to happen around me.

Josh: 4:40

Yeah. Did luck show up or did quite the opposite?

Kevin: 4:46

Believe it or not luck didn't show up. Look, didn't show up. Yeah, yeah. That one. Yeah. I had, I had a great place where I was living. I had a sports car. I had the body of my dreams cause I had just done a bodybuilding show. My girlfriend at the time was a model. Like a lot of the things I, I had seemed like I was very successful, but it was the internal game that I was losing. I was winning on the external, anybody who knew me thought I was crushing it. When I went to bed at night, I didn't feel like I was crushing it. For most of my life, I actually felt like I was too lucky. I was a really good athlete. I felt lucky every time I hit a home run, I never planned on hitting a home run. I felt lucky. I always felt lucky when I did well at work or I did well in school. I, I really thought for most of my life that I lacked talent, but what I lacked in talent, I made up within luck. Unfortunately.

Josh: 5:39

Yeah. So this is interesting. I'd love to hear your take on this. I mean the most common message I get on LinkedIn is like congrats on the new role, congrats on the new, whatever I've been on it for awhile. One of the, I was in venture capital, private equity and I built some stuff, but lost all my money. Been bankrupt on food stamps. I've had this in my life, right? The ups and downs. Given my asphalt, one of my jobs in between was I built some construction companies and I worked at a, a roofing company selling doors or selling roofs door to door. I won a competition and we wound up going fishing. Right. We're all sitting on this boat and the guy's yelling, reel it in. I'm like looking around like, who's the lucky bastard who caught the fish. And then, so I felt the tug. I was like, oh my gosh, it's me. And I'm reeling. And I'm really neon. Guy's yelling at me. He's like, this was a big one. I'm going the whole time. This is going to break the line's going to break. I'm not going to get this thing I get to sing in. I caught the biggest fish that day. I was surprised. Like you said, I didn't expect it. The home run. I didn't expect to win the competition. I didn't expect to catch a big fish. I was surprised that it happened. Yeah. Is that what you mean?

Kevin: 6:52

Yeah. Yeah. When I was, when I was 11 years old, I was up to bat. My mom was behind the backstop and I was a very good baseball player. Let's catch her. No, no. She was watching. She said in front of everybody, she said, Kevin, if you hit a home run, I'll give you a hundred dollars. I hit a grand slam on the next pitch. It wasn't because I thought I could. I thought I was lucky. Even in the way I say that, you can say, I felt lucky that I did that. That I think that started the journey. I was, I was on every all-star team ever. I was really good. I was really good, but I never felt good. There's a difference between getting a result and reverse engineering a result. I never reverse engineered most of the results in my life. I didn't feel like they were sustainable. I have a buddy. He is a good looking successful. Thank you.

Josh: 7:44

Talking.

Kevin: 7:45

About me. Right? Of course. Everything you could ever want in the world, but not super confident in his ability to replicate the past relationships. He's had getting a result versus reverse engineering. Our two different lives. Yeah.

Josh: 8:01

Yeah. Did this, you're making six figures, got a six pack, probably an eight pack since you're a bodybuilder, right? You did the tannin and you walked around stage and people clapped for you. And you're so awesome, Kevin. Right? They're cheering you on, had a hot girlfriend and life seemed perfect making money, sports car, all this stuff. Yet you feel that you kind of got lucky, like you didn't create this. Like how did that show up in your life? And why did that cause you stress? Why didn't you just look in the mirror and go damn awesome. Let's just keep going with it.

Kevin: 8:35

I did. I did for a long time. My girlfriend left and one of my girlfriend left. I had to look in the mirror, everything crumbled at the same time. I wasn't making as good of money because work was slow. It was just this combination of, I lost love. I wasn't nearly as successful financially as I was before I was living by, I was recouping from this bodybuilding show and my hormones were tanked and I had definitely had a minor food sickness, like an eating disorder for sure. It was just this perfect storm of all these things. I had to realize in that moment, after she left, it was the loneliest thing in the world. I'm sitting in this place by myself and it's just quiet and not just quiet, audibly, but quiet energetically. It was just lonely. It was dark. It was like that soul sucking loneliness of, wow. I think I just lost everything I thought I had in a weird way. Josh. I knew I was going to lose it. I knew that relationship wasn't going to work. I was counting down the days until it went away and knowing it did, I think part of me was like, oh yep. There. That is the luck ran out.

Josh: 9:46

Yeah. Yeah. It's do you feel that you like predicted it created it? Like you self-sabotage the relationship and the success.

Kevin: 9:56

There was a lot of scarcity there. There was a lot of, if I give you a hundred dollars, there's two things you can do. You can go turn that a hundred into a thousand and then a million, or you can hang on to it and say, I got a hundred. I got to keep it. I try to keep it. It wasn't about flourishing and growing together. It was about staying together. That's the biggest difference in my relationship. I'm engaged. I have an amazing fiance that most supportive human of this journey, which is saying a lot because there's been wild, but our mean priority is growing together, having the difficult, painful, insecure, uncomfortable conversations. That's that's I went from trying to get by to dry, trying to grow every single day. I believe that's why my life is vastly different than it was. It has to be. There's nothing else really changed my, I mean my community and my environment. Yes. That goes hand in hand with the amount of commitment to growth I have as well.

Josh: 10:57

How did you show up when you were lonely? Right. Low energy. You felt lonely, your girl just left you, like, what did you turn? Like what were some of the pathways to get you to one day becoming a coach? Did you go down any negative?

Kevin: 11:12

Oh, of course. Yeah, of course. Luckily for me, the Jim's always been an outlet. That's one thing I will say. I've been working out for 16 years, so that's always been there for me when other things have it, but porn, for sure. Having into porn, a lot of weed, for sure. A lot of again,

Josh: 11:35

Or it's porn then we'd because if you do weed first, you don't have the energy or the motivation to,

Kevin: 11:41

Yeah. I mean, it depends, I guess it depends on what day of the week. It was really, it was really those two things. Honestly, what the positive things were me just in touch with myself, I started learning. I remember I was listening to audio books and that was the first time ever. I remember my co-host and he's my business partner. Now. He has been a mentor for me for since the beginning. Honestly, he's been there and he's taught me so much. I remember he was like, have you got to download these audio books? I remember thinking, I don't understand what learning about this is going to do for me. I genuinely have no idea why I'm doing this. I'm playing a PlayStation four while I'm listening to this audio book. Now I had to start small, but it was really that it was having conversations about stuff that mattered. That was the initial thing for me and learning about stuff that didn't seem to apply to me yet, which was very strange. It was really that. Slowly going from spending time around people who talked about the past to spending time with people who talked about the future, that was huge for me. That was huge. Now I really only talk about the future really, and in the current, but the past is where the lessons are, but I don't want to live from that. Really?

Josh: 12:58

Sure. So your business partner, right? You said he was a mentor and now business partner co-host, what's that dude's name?

Kevin: 13:06

Alan? His name is Alan Lazarus. He is a shining example of a human, one of the most intelligent human beings. I do not know how I got so blessed, but he's a, a visionary entrepreneur who understands exponential organizations and wants to change the world. I got very lucky that him and I have similar core values, core beliefs and core aspirations, for sure.

Josh: 13:30

Very cool. What, what's a nickname that you call him or that he,

Kevin: 13:34

Jeff, we call each other Jeff. One day I pulled up to the studio and I, when I pulled up, this is where the studio is at his mom's house. In the beginning of this journey. When I pulled up, I would text him. I am here in one day at autocorrected to IMTF and now we just call each other Jeff. That's like, our whole community says Jeff, and it's this whole thing. If you're out there and your name is Jeff, I do love you. It doesn't mean anything negative, but it's just an inside joke that we have. That's now not inside anymore.

Josh: 14:01

Yeah. Now it's out to the whole world. So holy crap. 900 episodes. So you're doing an episode a day. You've been doing this for awhile, right? Yep. In, in your journey of podcasting, why did you start podcasting? What's one thing that you feel like it was, it got you hooked? Like why are you addicted to podcasts?

Kevin: 14:23

I started because I had the capability of being more vulnerable than most people just right off the bat. I was willing to ask questions and talk about stuff that other people weren't. That's why I started my first interview was with one of my, or my second interview was with one of my buddies who wanted to commit suicide. We walked through his story of how he was in the bathroom, thinking about it. Somebody came up to him and told him not to do it. And it was this whole amazing story. I ended up going to the hospital with him to make sure he didn't do that. That was one of my, that was my second episode ever. I didn't know what the hell I was doing, but I knew that people had to hear stuff like that. I knew that not a lot of people wanted to talk about it. I was willing to be that martyr for that cause so to speak. I think the reason I fell in love with it is because I could actually be myself. If, if somebody listens to us, they listen to the real us, I mean, 900 episodes. There's only so much I could fake at this point. Right. I fell in love with it because I could sit down in front of a microphone and talk about what I wanted to talk about. People actually resonated with it and I could be authentic. It's like, when I'm in front of the microphone, I get to be all of me. When I go to the grocery store. I kind of can't, I don't want to say can't, but not everybody resonates with, Hey, have you gotten better today? Like, are you trying to chase your dreams? It's, that's a lot for some people, understandably, that was a lot for me. In front of this microphone on podcasts, I get to be me. That's just a, it's a freeing, amazing feeling.

Josh: 16:06

Yeah. I don't feel, and I'd love your thoughts on this. I don't feel like the world is ready for the full-out Josh. That's why I have an uncensored advice for minutia. Like, like, I don't know if the world's ready for me to talk about, like if I exit this door right here out of our studio, talk about masturbation, talk about porn, talk about, we talk about all the things or insecurities or failures or bankrupt or all the things that, thoughts of suicide and depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and all the things that guys go through internally. Or at least I have, I don't know if a lot of people are fully ready for that. You know, that, that experience. Here I feel that for the people who listening in and who invest in themselves, I feel like they want that. Yeah. That what you get out of your audience in and the people who reach out to you?

Kevin: 16:57

Yeah. Believe it or not, our audience from the very beginning was predominantly women. I never expected that. I never expected that, but you've got to think it's to bodybuilders who aren't talking about, bodybuilder things, we're talking about feelings, mental health habits, relationships, fears, insecurities. We had a very heavy women following in the beginning. I've learned so much about human beings, particularly women, particularly emotionally driven women. It's been wonderful and that's helped me in so many different ways. Yeah, it really was In, you got to think of like a frequency on a frequency spectrum. At one point, the highest paid person on television was judged Judy. Why is that? Because there's more people that play at that frequency of judge Judy that's okay. The Kardashians, I don't watch the carjack Kardashians. It's it's low vibe and that's okay. That's, there's a place for that. I love super bad. My favorite movie of all time, but what it is, it's low vibe. I'm not going to necessarily get better and change the world if I'm listening, watching that every day. I think that what you're talking about is very high vibe and there is a smaller percentage of people, statistically, who play at that high vibe. So it makes sense. Like, you're not statistically, you're going to come across more people who want to talk about the weather than they want to talk about their feelings. Right. Because that's just the frequency that many people are at. Again, I was the same way when I was watching porn and doing what I was doing. So I'm not speaking negatively about that. I was just playing at a different frequency and that's all it really was.

Josh: 18:36

Yeah. In this journey, what I found with podcasting is one. I, I went through some really just terrible times and it became free consulting. It became free coaching. It became free therapy. Like I've interviewed people and I broke down crying and they're like, I'm like, might as well record it. Right. And share that with the world. Cause if it helps another dude out there that's cool in the 900 episodes that you've done, what's one that like stands out that you're like, man, it really impacted you as a host. And maybe you didn't expect it.

Kevin: 19:14

Oh man, it's not that I didn't expect it. It's it was, I was surprised at some of the content we interviewed somebody two weeks ago, last week, one of those two, his name is Kevin Hines. He jumped off the golden gate bridge in an attempt to commit suicide and survived. And his story is just, it's unreasonable. What that human being has gone through in terms of upbringing. At one point the interview, he said his diet as a child, early child, infant was Kool-Aid Coca-Cola and sour milk. That's what he ate living in a hotel because his parents were addicted to drugs. The thing that really hit me is during the interview, he said, guys, I think about suicide all the time. It is I'm, it's always, it's constant. I didn't think about that in the interview process. When you're doing research, you look at somebody's story, you look at where they been. You look at where they are, you look at where they're going. I didn't think about the fact that he might still be dealing with it. You think of the heroes, the guide he's now the guide who has gotten through it. He's still going through it. It was just, it was a real moment for me of, oh yeah. They're behind these stories. There's always a human being and that human being wakes up Monday through Friday and they wake up Saturday and Sunday too. And they're living a real life. Besides what they're talking about on this podcast. That was real. That was, it was a heavy episode where afterwards I told Alan, I said, I need a minute. And that was just heavy. That was a heavy episode. That one definitely impacted me another one, Anthony trucks. I don't know if Anthony, but he'd be a good guest for you. For sure. He grew up in the foster system. At one point he was forced to lick the bottom of shoes until his tongue bled. He had to chase a chicken around a backyard in order to catch his food. And now he's a world-class speaker. He played in the NFL American ninja warrior, amazing guy. We've interviewed him a couple of times and got to hang out with them behind the scenes. The adversity some humans have gone through is just mind blowing.

Josh: 21:26

Yeah. Yeah. Well, we'll share some guests cause I've got some that I think you'd love to connect with as well in your personal growth. Like what do you think was the biggest challenge? Cause you started out being the hyper-conscious guy, right. It became the next level, like in your own personal growth, what was the biggest hurdle you had to overcome?

Kevin: 21:50

This is going to sound and I share this because I think a lot of us probably deal with this. My ego trying to keep me safe is so I didn't say Allen is spectacular as like a, as an over-exaggeration like this, he's the kind of kid who changes the world and that's just who he is. I'm talking Steve jobs, Elon Musk type. And that sounds crazy. I know, but that has been the biggest challenge for me is keeping up with him and looking in mirrors and understanding, what? I might've started this whole thing. He sh I shouldn't be the CEO. He should be, that's unreasonably difficult to admit that I'm not even number one in my own quote unquote company. That level of removing the ego and saying, what, maybe I'm not the best at this. Maybe there is somebody that I work with. Who's better. That has been so challenging for me over the last five years, because it's a mirror that you're not always ready to look into. It's a mirror that I have to look into constantly. Every time I talked to Alan, I look in that mirror of, oh yeah, I'm the CFO, but you understand finances better than I do. Oh, I'm the whatever. But you understand this. I think all of us in our lives, at some point, there's been a moment of not enoughness, whether it's real or not perceived or actual, and we find a way to compensate whether it's egoing up or shelling up. That has been the biggest challenge for me, whether in the public eye, on stage behind the scenes, talking to business, talking life, talking to money, that has been the biggest issue for me now, what is, it's created a level of humility in me that I'm very grateful for, but it's still, it's not easy. It's definitely still a challenge. I'm sure it will be probably forever.

Josh: 23:43

Yeah. I am a dude with a massive ego, right. Like life had to kick me in the ass multiple times and God gave me all the opportunities to be humbled. Right. In the process, I was talking to a guy who's, venture capitalist guy. And he was going before bankruptcy. After bankruptcy, moving back in with mom and dad, with wife and three kids and all going through the process of moving back into a small town is I, I called the guy a few years later and he goes, Josh, you sound different. He goes, to be honest, you were an arrogant prick prior to this, ? He goes, no, we could probably do something together, do deal together. My ego got in the way of a lot of my success. And it's funny. I'd love your thoughts on this too, is my ego was really a lot of my insecurities acting out. Cause I, I, I was good at a lot of things. I have natural talents in meeting with people and some sports like wrestling or something like that. Other than that, I, I'm not really talented, but even in those things, people would be like, wow, you're great at that. I'm like, nah, no, I'm not, but my ego would go on the mat and then act out. Right. Do you find that your ego was actually some like insecurities that you were trying to cover up and over compensate for that? Yeah.

Kevin: 25:06

Yeah. I believe most people walk around and their biggest fear is somebody finding out their biggest fear. I really, I really believe that. It was that my biggest fear was people were going to not see me as the lead. That was my biggest fear. So much. In fact, that looking back, a lot of our episodes are way less value valuable than they should because Alan was asking me questions. I should have been asking him, I should have been asking Alan about sales, not the other way around even doing it for many years longer than I had. Right. The need to be valuable or the need to be the shining object that was out of the insecurity of people valuing me less than I wanted to be valued for sure. A hundred percent. Yeah.

Josh: 25:53

Yeah, no. I asked that in a very long way, by the way, I should have been a lot more precise,

Kevin: 25:58

Like matters context matters, Josh.

Josh: 26:01

All right. You're going through this process at what point did you're like, all right, I'm going to be a coach. I'm going to be speaker of podcasts or what the heck did that look like?

Kevin: 26:11

Yeah. I became a coach when I no longer could pay the bills pretty much. That was kind of how it started when we started this podcast, there weren't as many resources as there are today in terms of how to make money and how to monetize and grow and scale. I messaged one of our listeners and said, Hey, I'm running this beta testing for coaching. I've never done it before, but I want to try. And I started coaching this person. Her name was Jenna. She's on our team now, which is amazing. After a month or two, I said, I can't do this for free because my schedule was starting to fill up with other things, but I'd love to do it for, I think it was $75 a week. And that was how I start. I started with $75 a call and it was mindset, peak performance. And it's evolved so much. I don't even do mindset people performance anymore. Now I only do podcast coaching, but w you had something, what do you have breakthrough?

Josh: 27:03

No, w what's cool. I love this because I think a lot of coaches stumbled into coaching. Right. At least a lot of the good ones you're you couldn't pay the bills. Oh yeah. Here you are going to talk to someone about, I'm going to coach you. Yeah. Was there an imposter syndrome? Like you can't even pay your bills. What are you going to do? Coach someone how to be successful. You're not, like, did that pop up?

Kevin: 27:28

Yeah. Oh, it still does. It's still, it's still pops up. It's thinking. I think it depends on who you're comparing to because, okay. Statistically speaking, we have one of the most successful podcasts in the world, statistically speaking, right. We have 900 episodes just crossed half the million downloads, and we're on pace to do a half a million dollars this year through the podcast. Statistically speaking, that is just so rare, but I still have moments when I'm teaching people that it's like, oh my God, this isn't valuable at all. Like, they're not this isn't valuable. This isn't worth whatever, but it always is checking in with, okay. Compared to who, like, who are we comparing tony Robbins? Sure. His more successful, but statistically speaking, most people aren't. I think getting with the data, where is the proof is the right question to ask, where is the proof that is running this story in my head? Oh, the not being good enough because your dad walked out for the last 30 years. You've always been running this, even when you were better than you thought you've always been running it. It really is getting out of unconsciousness and tapping into hyper consciousness and then re calibrating then recalibrating. You have new proof to look at. My long answer to that question, yes. There is still imposter syndrome to this day.

Josh: 28:52

Yeah, dude. So, awesome. Well, I love these conversations because I think people see when they see, you on TV or YouTube or, like they think that you're like untouchable, right? Yeah. I think a lot of times people forget, like people will say, Hey, Josh, I saw you on the commercial, or I saw you on this or that. Like, and they're like, man, you're crushing it. And they're like, how are you doing? Then, like, I'm like, dude, I'm having a really rough day. And they're like, what? No. Like, and it, I think that this, the world so expects a, the gurus on TV to not have emotion that people up on states to not have rough days or have failed businesses or failed this or that, how do you deal with the imposter syndrome that pops up even today?

Kevin: 29:43

I just talk about it. I really think that imagine if I had never talked about it before Josh and you asked me that question, I'd have to lie. I'd have to say, well, no, I, I can't, I don't want anybody to hear this because what if somebody from our community hears it and this is a different platform, but then they're going to look at me differently. I just try to own it. I try to own the fact that I'm five foot four, and I'm terrified that I'm too short. I'm terrified of that. I that's been a fear since I've for as long as I can remember. I'm terrified of that biggest insecurity I have is being sure. But what is the alternative? My buy shoes with lifts in them. Like I'm not going to do that. That's not going to help me. It's not sustainable. It's not sustainable. I think it's honestly being truthful with yourself and then others. Continuing to check in with a proof of peop, are there people out there that know more about podcasting than me? For sure. Definitely. Will I run into one this week? Probably not. Most likely not because I've just studied more. I mean, I have 900 reps and five years of studying every day. I try to just get right with the data. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm losing weight, but the scale knows the scale always knows the scale is a number. There's no emotions attached to that as binary you either did, or you didn't. When you track your weight, you understand what to do differently. When you track your finances, you either made money this month or you did there's no, I thought I did cool, but you did, or you did. I think your emotions, if you can get data around them, it helps you make better, more statistically aligned decisions. Now, if you asked me that five years ago, I wouldn't have said any of that. Cause I didn't know what spreadsheets were, but again, as part of this journey, that's something that I've really leaned into.

Josh: 31:26

Yeah. I love the fact that, I said, how do you deal with it? And you go, I talk about it. Like guys don't we don't typically do that. Like, Hey, what are you insecure about? Well, when it's cold and wet, I'm, I'm nervous about, how big my dong is or like how tall I am or how much money is in my bank account. Like, don't look over my shoulder when I'm looking at my bank account or don't do this or that. Right. Guys, we're walking through life with massive amounts of insecurities and you're like, well talk about it, right? That's that's not how we're trained.

Kevin: 31:57

No, but I think it's okay. Worst case scenario, best case, worst case, most likely scenario, worst case scenario, somebody listening to this has a bad day. They find me on Instagram. They DM me and say, Hey, your short and yous suck worst case scenario. How many worst cases they tracked me down and hurt me. That's like worst case. Right? A best case scenario,

Josh: 32:18

Like angry at short people.

Kevin: 32:20

Yeah. I mean, I'm sure it exists, right? That's, we're absolute worst case, best case scenario. Somebody reaches out best case scenario. I mean, best case somebody mails me a million dollars and says that was the best podcast interview I've ever.

Josh: 32:34

Heard it with me.

Kevin: 32:34

Yeah, of course naturally. Most likely best case if somebody reaches out and says, Hey, you talking about that really impacted me. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Awesome. Most likely scenario is closer to best case than it is worst case. Yeah. It's like your fears about what will happen are probably worse than what's actually gonna happen. Now. I was at a party one time and it was the end of the night and there was these two girls and I was drunk and I was flirting with these two girls and one of them literally said to my face Kev, you're way too short for us. I actually faced my biggest fear and I ego it up and I said, do you even have any idea how much money I make? Of course, that's where I went because I was making money. In retrospect facing my biggest quote-unquote fear, my biggest insecurity. It wasn't that bad if it happened today, honestly. Yeah. Maybe I'm not your cup of tea. Maybe I am too short for you. That exists. Right. That exists. I'm okay with that. Maybe I'm not your cup of tea. That's okay. Okay. I don't date guys with tattoos. Okay. I have tattoos and it is what it is. Right. I think it's that level of, if I could change it, I would, but I can't. I change what I can, if I can't change it, I either hide from it forever. Or I just allow it to be part of who I am and it is part of who I am. So I can't hide from it.

Josh: 33:58

Yeah. Do you ever lean in the opposite direction where you like make fun of your self? Cause I mean, people make fun of me and then I'll just take over and I'll make more fun of myself than they do.

Kevin: 34:09

Yeah. I think, I think part of that is coping for sure. Because I always used to joke about not having a dad. I always used to joke about it because I don't want anybody else to call me out on it. So yeah. Now it's interesting because I'd say something on a live, we do live podcasts every week and somebody on the team would say, Kev, don't talk down about yourself. I would always say, I know you think I am. I know you think I'm internalizing that, but I'm not. I'm just very comfortable in whatever I'm talking about. You'll know if I do it subconsciously from like a step back point. But yeah, I, I definitely do. I think it's dangerous because it gives permission to other people to joke too. You got to do it with the right people and maybe not publicly like you and I probably do, but yeah, I definitely do for sure.

Josh: 34:59

Yeah. I had to do this. I was at a, we have a Bible study group that we connect with other couples and we were talking about something and I made a joke and then I followed up, the joke was like, it was probably like, I don't know, it was insensitive. It was stupid. Right. It was dumb, but it was kind of cracking. I had to go back and I go, Hey guys, I just want you to know that I joke around when I get nervous. That's how I coped with things in the past when I was a firefighter or a medic and I dealt with a lot of deaths, like one of the ways we cope with uncomfortable situations, which is my love language. I love uncomfortable situations by the way, is we joke about it. We make fun of it. It's a way where we can about it in a way. Coping, there's healthy coping, non-healthy coping. Now here you are podcasting coaching speaking. How are you?

Kevin: 35:50

A 32.

Josh: 35:51

Cool. 30, 30, 2 years old. We have an ability to go back in time. You could talk to your, what was it like a milestone that was like the most pivotal painful area right before you cross it? What was it like an age for you?

Kevin: 36:06

25.

Josh: 36:08

Okay. You could go have a conversation with yourself at 25. What's something that you would say to yourself.

Kevin: 36:14

I, I get that question a lot and I love the question it's so hard because I know, I don't think I would have listened, because I, I just think I would have been like, no, this is the way, but if I could go back and tell myself anything, I would say, Kev, your life will start getting better when you do. I never understood that. I never understood, not even getting things done productivity, but the capability of a human being determined. Many of their opportunities and everything that they get. I never understood that because I think I looked up to people who kind of got lucky for the longest time. Josh, and maybe it's similar for you when it came to podcasting. Joe Rogan was my idol. Yeah. Joe Rogan was my idol and I don't follow him as much because I just don't have time. In terms of the content I take in. Joe Rogan got lucky, kind of Joe Rogan doesn't know the most about podcasting and marketing and speaking and all that. He started earlier than many people and he just kept the train rolling and he already had a name. And he's really good. I mean, he's a world-class interviewer. I'm not saying that, but he didn't reverse engineer. I'm going to have the most successful podcast in the history of the world. That's not what he did. I saw somebody like that and I, I didn't know what it meant. I assumed that either he got lucky or he knew more than I did. It really threw me for a loop. I think we look up to these people like movie stars and we assume they know way more than us. I think they're probably better at one thing. I mean, there's a really good chance that they're just really good at acting and they're not necessarily good at other things. Yeah. I think that you see them and you assume they're better, but better at what better at relationships. I mean, a lot of famous people get divorces better with money. I mean, so many people go bankrupt. It's like, it starts to make sense that if you get better at everything, health, wealth, life, and love, that is our jam health. I do not want to be wealthy and single and miserable. I don't want to do that. I don't want to be wealthy and overweight and out of shape. I don't want to be in an amazing relationship and out of shape and have no money. I want it all. I want to have everything holistically. If you improve in these facets of life, everything around you will improve. That's what I would have told myself. Now I believe that I don't know if I would have at the time.

Josh: 38:52

Yeah. Now we've already talked to the 26 year old you're 32. Now we get an opportunity to go into the future and you could have a conversation. You me and future Kevin sitting on a rocking chair, drinking some scotch or coffee or whatever you drink. I'm probably doing scotch. Go ahead. You get a, you get to give yourself advice of the future self. You could share something with the future self that's in future self. What would you tell your future self.

Kevin: 39:22

Don't lose the chip on your shoulder no matter what the house looks like. No matter how many cars you have, no matter how big the audience is, do not lose the chip that got you here. Because if you do, you will lose everything with it. That.

Josh: 39:36

It's, what's the chip.

Kevin: 39:38

Not being good enough. Being doubted, not having a dad that will always run me. That will always, and I don't want to say run me. It will always motivate me. I want it to be gasoline in the tank. I don't want it to be the foot on the pedal. There's a difference between the two, but I, a lot of people aren't necessarily playing for their mission or their purpose. There's a lot of things that you can be motivated by. You can be motivated by a meeting. You can be motivated by movement, freedom, being able to do whatever you want. You can be motivated by materials and possessions, and you can be motivated by mastery being the best in the world. You can also be motivated by your mission that I don't ever want to lose sight. Of the only reason I am, where I am is because of the mission. Everything else is great, but it's because of the mission. It's because of the impact is because of the value. Much of that is coming, has come from the chip on my shoulder. Don't ever take your foot off the gas. Don't ever forget why this actually worked in this part too. Don't ever try to convince people. It's easier than it is. Don't ever, you're going to have so much momentum in 30 years, that everything is just going to seem easier. Don't ever give that terrible advice to somebody who's just starting out.

Josh: 40:58

Yeah. Yeah. It's tough. Hey, fellows out there. This is toughest. Hell.

Kevin: 41:04

Yeah. There's.

Josh: 41:05

Nothing easy about life, except just letting things go in your journey to becoming a coach. What is the thing that people most come in ask you for help? Like what is the pain point that most people are going, Hey, Kevin, I need help.

Kevin: 41:25

Since I work with podcasters, predominantly it's making money. Many people have told them they can't make money. Like can't make money with a podcast. It's like, all right, well, you can, I don't know who told you couldn't. I, I hope it was a seasoned podcaster who told you that you couldn't make money? It's like, well, no. I, I just know, like so many people have told me. It's like, well, I hope you love this person dearly, but do they have a podcast? Do they even listen to podcasts? No. Oh, so they probably don't know. Right. That would be the biggest one is, yeah. It's either that, or it's the complete opposite of, I know I'm going to crush it. I just need of guidance. It's like, I love that level of confidence and self-belief, but you're not that good yet. We need to like do some refining. It depends on the person, but more often than not it's how do I make more money with my podcast? Really? For many people, it's just me saying you can make money with your podcast and it's this breakthrough of, oh, I didn't think you can then. Yeah. Here's, here's five ways you can. You definitely can. Will you stick out long enough to do it? I don't know. That's up to you and that's up to me if you want to do that, but that's the biggest one for sure.

Josh: 42:39

Or so in this journey, right? You, you found you started in coaching and it was mindset. And then here it shifts into podcasting. Will you ever go back to mindset or lifestyle design or this or that? No,

Kevin: 42:59

I don't. I don't study it now to master it. I think I, there was a part of me and this was recent. When I started transitioning, I transitioned in the last year I texted one of my clients. I sent an audio message and I said, Hey, I feel as if I'm doing you a disservice, because you're not, you're kind of not my main priority. I can't continue coaching ing that I'm not trying to learn as much as possible about the style of coaching I'm doing. I want to grow the podcast business more. It's more aligned for me. It just, it just is. I love it more. And, and I think I can help people in a different way because we've had to take a different road. So yeah. It's unless somebody came to me and they said, here's an ungodly amount of money. Like, I know it's not your main thing, then I'd probably do it again, but I don't anticipate it now.

Josh: 43:55

Yeah. How do you know you're winning?

Kevin: 43:57

Oh, that's a great question.

Josh: 43:58

What's your mission. How do you know you're doing it?

Kevin: 44:00

Our mission and it's wild to have the most successful podcasts ever of all time in the self-improvement industry in terms of impact in terms of really helping somebody's life, not motivating them and saying, oh, you got to work harder and grind your face. Not that a holistic approach to actually have a better, more next level life. That is our mission to put self-improvement into the pocket of every human being seven days a week from anywhere in the world for free. That is, that is our mission. How do we know we're winning? So again, we're very numbers driven. Thanks to Alan. So.

Josh: 44:39

Alan,

Kevin: 44:39

Thank you. Thank you Allen. Every day I track our finances. I track our listens. I track our Facebook group. I just track a bunch of numbers. We really know whether or not we're winning and we have growth rates on, how fast are we accelerating the acceleration of the podcast? It goes pretty deep there, but I think you have to feel something different. Before the money and before all that, I still felt like I was winning compared to what I used to do. I think it depends if you, I know I'm winning. When I find perspective of the best that ever was is still not as good as it is in my worst day today. Not even close, not even close six years ago, I would be working in an attic somewhere, sweating and cursing and breathing in stuff I shouldn't be. I'd be six hours away from home, staying at, across the hotel. Anything today where I get to work from home in my pajamas.

Josh: 45:43

You're Burmese.

Kevin: 45:43

Damoth I'm in my now bottom half. Okay. Top half business, bottom, half casual, right? Yeah. And that is for me. That's how I know I'm winning is I'm more fulfilled now than I ever have been. I'm way more fulfilled. I'm way more on purpose. I'm way more aligned. It's just, it's a different life.

Josh: 46:01

Kevin. Let's see your pajamas. What are you.

Kevin: 46:03

Wearing? You want to see him? Yeah, I got tacos.

Josh: 46:08

Oh, nice. Yeah.

Kevin: 46:10

Taco pants,

Josh: 46:11

Taco pants. Those are good taco pants.

Kevin: 46:13

I love pajamas. You know, I like to be comfortable.

Josh: 46:17

Yeah. And you know what? It fits you, man. I.

Kevin: 46:21

Appreciate that. I appreciate that very much.

Josh: 46:23

So you've got a bunch of tattoos. Yeah. Right. What was your first tattoo?

Kevin: 46:28

Oh man. If you're out there, maybe you made the same mistake or perceived mistake. I did. I got barbed wire around my, you can't see it anymore, but this was barbed wire got covered up. Yeah, I got my mom took me when I was 16.

Josh: 46:47

You and mom got tattoos together.

Kevin: 46:48

We didn't know. She, she had a bunch. She, my mom has like eight tattoos. So she was all about it. She took me to some basement when I was 16 years old and somebody who should not have been tattooing me was tattooing me. It was brutal, but I got barbed wire with blood dripping out of it at 16.

Josh: 47:06

Yeah. Why, why Barb wire?

Kevin: 47:09

Who knows?

Josh: 47:10

That's what everybody was getting around the arm. Makes your arm look bigger.

Kevin: 47:14

It looked cool. I was like, this is on bad ass. Number one. Number two, I don't, I was like the only person in my school. I think in my grade, at least who had a tattoo, I was like, it doesn't really matter. I could get anything and people are gonna think this is cool.

Josh: 47:25

Yeah, totally. If I I've got a few, but if here's the question is, I don't know why I got some too we're like each other that I get. That's probably why I said that. If I had a magic pen and I raced every tattoo on your body, except for one, which one would you keep? You're not allowed to get any more you one tattoo.

Kevin: 47:46

I probably keep this. I probably keep the never quit.

Josh: 47:51

It's on his arm. It says never quit. Got.

Kevin: 47:52

It. Yeah. I would probably keep that because that is, that's just who I am. I I've always been willing to suffer for what I believed in. Like I was, again, I was a good baseball player, but one of the reasons I was good is cause I was reckless. I was diving head first. I always slid head. First. I jumped over catchers. I was just reckless. When I used to do martial arts, I'd roll with anyone. I often, I mean, I got choked out. I got armbar and all the things all the time, but it's that moment when somebody has a choke locked in and you're most likely going to get choked out. How long do you fight before you tap? I used to fight until I saw stars and like things get very quiet and you start to get the hum and you're moments away from going out. Like I've always tried to fight through that. So that's my persona. That's that's who I am. I, I want to be the person who perseveres and just has the most resilient. That tattoo speaks to me in a way that I don't think any other really does, but yeah, that's a deep one for me.

Josh: 48:58

Were you like no-gi wrestling or both.

Kevin: 49:02

Okay. Both. Yeah. I was, I didn't understand the game at the beginning. I was like, I don't know if I want to do that. Yeah. It looks karate, but I enjoyed it. It's it builds a level of humility in me that I think everybody needs. When you go grapple with somebody who stereotypically doesn't look like they'd be very strong and the next thing your legs over your head. And you're like, oh, okay. That's, there's something to this. It's a very humbling experience knowing that somebody could kill you with their bare hands if they wanted to. You don't get to experience that very often, legally. So it was good.

Josh: 49:35

Yeah. I love this. All right. You and I are standing up face-to-face or you and someone else doesn't matter. What's what's one of your go-to moves. Like you're like, this is right off the mat. Like this is going to be one of my attack moves.

Kevin: 49:47

I have a low center of gravity, which in this case is very good. And so.

Josh: 49:53

W.

Kevin: 49:54

I was, I was never really a double leg. I'm more like, let me just get double under hooks and let me, if I can clap, my hands is a pretty good chance I can get you down. That was kind of always my thing. Now I'm very stocky. So, you're not going to see a ton of triangle chokes. Armbars that's not my jam. Cause my legs are very short, but I was always good at the head and arm choke because I could lock it up really tight. That was where I would go if I was on the ground. But I always, I really enjoy kickboxing. I like Muay Thai and kickboxing way more. Really? Yeah. My, my grandfather was a professional boxer. My great-grandfather was a professional. They don't use gloves back then. He was also a boxer as well. It's just like, my whole family is a bunch of fighters, so it's, that's just, I love it. I love it. I'm so excited to watch the fights this weekend. I'm a huge combat sports fan, so yeah, I'm a big thing.

Josh: 50:48

Yeah. Yeah. Super cool. Very cool. One of the things I like to do is I have a deck of cards that kind of have questions on it. Okay. We're coming out towards the end of our interview, but my little brain only comes up with so many cool questions. I got a deck of cards with questions on it. So tell me when to stop.

Kevin: 51:07

Stop.

Josh: 51:07

All right. We're going to ask you this question. Okay. All right. Imagine your daily routine had been turned into a reality show. Oh man. Which parts would be the most talked about?

Kevin: 51:21

I don't know. I feel like it would just be Groundhog day. It would just be like the same thing every day. Probably the gym. I there's not much else. That's super shiny. I mean, if you value seeing me on podcasts, you'd see that pretty often. I would say the gym because the gym is a side of me that most people don't know and most people don't see it. Like I'm a bodybuilder. I don't a lot of people in the self-improvement industry. This is somewhat blanket, but like, they go in the gym and they do their thing because they want to continue looking good. Like I go in there and I get under heavy weight and I suffer. I want to, I want to really feel it. I think that part of it, or me doing martial arts, because it's a different side, it's just not, you might not guess that listening to an episode like this. That's what I would say.

Josh: 52:07

Yeah. I think martial arts and being in the gym and lifting heavy stuff and those kinds of things, especially fighting for me, it built my confidence once again, pretty talented dude in a few different areas, but like very insecure, right? Low self-esteem, very insecure fighting gave me a way to build confidence. Martial arts gave me a way to build confidence and get some traction under my belt. What is the segue segwaying into that? Let's talk about your coach. Because we got a few minutes left and I think that's important for people in the audience, right? Who the guys out there who are, maybe struggling with something and they, they are reaching out to you. What would be the best way to reach out to you, connect to the, and maybe do a deal with you connect, ,

Kevin: 53:01

That send me something, send me a DM at never quit kid. I'll send, I will literally send you a video back. I try to send videos to everybody that is a new follower, a new friend, whatever it is. I try. It's, it's more difficult because there's more going on. But I think it's personal. So yeah, you can reach out. Honestly, like if it's mindset stuff, I'm, I'll help you. I probably won't send you a package or say, Hey, let's do this. Like just send me what you're dealing with. I'll send you an audio back about what I would do, but yeah, that's never quick kid on Instagram or Kevin at next level. Universe is my email. Okay.

Josh: 53:35

One last question. What question? Like, should I have asked you in this interview, right? Cause we kind of went this rabbit trail and had some fun, just discussing other things that What question do you wish I would ask you? Or do you wish someone would ask you?

Kevin: 53:55

That's a good one. That might be the one. No, I can't use a cough up. I would say, what do I wish you would have asked me? How do when you'll be successful? Like, how do you actually know when you'll be like, what will the, what's the line of demarcation from going to, or going from where you are to actual success? That's that's a good question.

Josh: 54:19

Take it.

Kevin: 54:21

I don't know that I ever will. I don't know that I, cause I feel successful now. I feel successful. Now When I, this is the answer. When I feel as confident internally is the results I have externally. That's when I will feel successful because that's the game. We're all playing in any way.

Josh: 54:44

Yeah. Yeah. When the external matches the internal. Yup.

Kevin: 54:49

Yup.

Josh: 54:49

Yeah. That's success because then you're showing up in true authenticity and transparency with the world. That's when you've made it.

Kevin: 54:56

A hundred percent.

Josh: 54:57

Yeah. I'm working on that.

Kevin: 54:59

Same, same.

Josh: 55:01

Alright. One more place. What? What's a good place for people to find out more information about you. Do you guys have a website?

Kevin: 55:08

Yeah. Next level, universe.com. You can check out the podcast seven episodes a week on every single platform, including YouTube. We will never miss. That is our promise to ourselves and to our audience. I will, I will podcast from the hospital. If I have to, we will do whatever it takes to make sure we keep the content flowing. That is our main thing.

Josh: 55:29

Cool fellows in the audience as always reach out to our guests, say thank you. All their contact information will be in the show. Notes. Skit may go straight to them say, Hey, appreciate you being on the show and find a way to do deal with them. Work with them, ask them questions, get some coaching with them, offer some value to them. As always reach out to our guests, they thank you. Hope you guys are having a awesome freaking day. If you're struggling with something or need someone to talk with head on over to uncensored advice for men.com, fill out a quick form. I try to call everybody as soon as a lead or not a lead. This isn't the business podcast. This is my impact show. As soon as your email hits my thing, I, I try to call all the dudes and we've had a few people that are going through some awesome stuff and do people going through some tough stuff. So you're not alone. Got to show for you. If you want to come talk on it on sensitive advice for men.com. Talk to you all on the next one. See you guys.