Blind Luck with Ryon Anderson

 Josh
 Hey, good day fellows. Welcome to uncensored advice for men. This is one of my favorite shows is our impact show. Because number one, I get free therapy, right? I get it. I get to ask the experts and I get free coaching, but the messages that I'm getting from the audience guys who are, I thought about killing myself, I've been involved in something that I need help with, or I'm finding myself in a dark situation. I don't know my way out. Because of your show, we connected with the guests and now we're getting help. Like, this is so good and so needed because for such a long time, in my own life, I had a hard time asking for help because I'm an arrogant prick, right. I'm learning the more humble I am. I ask for help actually, the better success I have in life and relationships and all that. 

 Josh
 So freaking enough about me. I'm just so excited to introduce our guests. Who's coming on the show. Who's going to talk to us about his story, about his struggles and about some of the new things that he's learning about connecting all of the above. So Ryan, welcome to the show. 

 Ryon
 Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. I can totally relate to the arrogant prick who had to learn humility in order to ask for help. We're on the same journey together, man. 

 Josh
 Awesome. Yeah, I think we all are and tell us about, who you are, but what was that turning point where you're like, wow, I do need help, kind of give us your journey. Okay. 

 Ryon
 Yeah. My journey, if you're literacy, I'm sure don't know, of course I'm totally blind. I was not born that way. I randomly got sick like 11 years old, almost 12 and lost my vision. Right. I had a brain abscess. My brain got infected. Like your, when your finger gets infected, it started swelling. Right. When it swelled, it hit the optic nerves that make you see where they cross, which is why I can't see. However I was supposed to be like, they're just really brain damaged. I really got lucky and only came out, not been able to see. Right. Like, that's kinda like the first part of it before. It's almost like if I had two or three different lives before, like getting sick and losing my vision, my goal in life was to be an NFL quarterback. Right. I was the weird kid in the backyard, like throwing a football at a tire swing, running drills, stilling like do reading books about my idol, who was Joe Montana at the time, doing the things that he did in order to get better. 

 Ryon
 It's like by myself in the backyard, cause I live 15 miles from town on a dairy, right. There was no one around, but cows and dogs and horses. It was me and my tire swing. I was still in place in the video game at the time, making my poor friends running at recess when we had schools, like I was just that kid. Right. I get sick, lose my vision. Boom. Right. Everything changes occur. Who the hell am I, I completely lose my identity. I can, I completely lose what I thought my trajectory of my life was going to be. Could I have been a quarterback who knows? That was my goal at the time. So, I, I went on I'm competitive. I switched my competitiveness and I, I've a, master's in counseling psych. I have a lot of different Texas tech. I remember the Texas bar, like I went and did all the things that you're supposed to do educationally to set myself up for success in life. 

 Ryon
 Right. Plus I wanted to be able to be employed and making money as someone who couldn't see. Right. So it was insurance policy as well. Got my first job was a lawyer. Absolutely hated it, which I knew. I mean, I knew I didn't want to be a lawyer six months in the law school. I don't like the research. I don't like the writing. I didn't like who it was making me become. Right. I think in order to get a lawyer, sometimes you have to be negative from the standpoint of, you're always worried about, who's screwing who might be doing, what, how do I, it's all that kind of mindset. I, I didn't like it. I didn't like who I was becoming. So I'm like, what can I do? This research kind of, this is what kind of soccer, my current journey mechanic kind of current coaching journey. 

 Ryon
 I started with actually fix and flips, right? It's like, I can do it from home. It doesn't require a lot of work, yada, but my complexion has kicked in and I'm like, I want to be great at this. I started doing a bunch of learning, which led me to podcasts, which led me to like coaching seminars, which led my first time going, which wasn't being coached and kind of started me down this coaching journey. I was like, no, I've done this. I frankly think I'm better than most of the coaches that I've had. So why don't I do coaching? Right. It ended up kind of becoming my passion because my goal in life is to be like great at whatever I do. I discovered, not be able to see, it's not just an excuse, but it's called a disability for a reason. Cause it does affect major things. 

 Ryon
 Without like a lot of help and a lot of partners that I trusted, I was not going to be able to compete in fix and flips and stuff like that with someone who was sighted because I was having to pin on other people's opinions on stuff. It was causing me issues that were in it being financial hits. So coaching is a purely mental game. I can be as good as anyone I can read as much I can research as much I can be just as creative. Like for me, it filled that competitive. I need to be great thing. Also I am able to bring tremendous value to my clients. Right. Really helped them grow, evolve, think bigger, think differently, really go on and like conquer those big, hairy, audacious goals that, driven man like you and I have. Right. That's kinda my brief, journey synopsis. 

 Josh
 Yeah. You were going through, law school blind, cause you were blind, right before your 12th birthday. Yep. You went into law school kind of as an insurance policy, I need to get a job that allows me to work being blind. And you said it's a disability. It's not an excuse. 

 Ryon
 Yeah. Yeah. Go. 

 Josh
 Yeah. The question is as you were going into this, like what kind of feedback were you getting from family, from professors, from other students, from other professionals in the industry going into this being blind? 

 Ryon
 I've, so I've been extraordinarily lucky on different elements of my life. One of them is I have an amazing family who is not only extremely supportive, but it's also willing to allow me to fail, kind of push you out of that. Like I like the, the, I guess the safe household, whatever. I was really lucky that way that I had that great combination of both support and, go out and like, be a man and do the s**t you supposed to do. Right. And, and also I'm lucky because like I said, I'm super competitive. I'm always trying new, different, crazy. I mean, we can into it, but I mean, I'm always trying crazy stupid stuff. My family kind of knows it about me. Like, they kind of learned that, just go let Rhonda was going to do. It'll fall out where it does. So I was really lucky there. 

 Ryon
 I went to Texas tech university school of law and I had three to choose from. I chose it. The staff ended up being really great, very supportive. They were very realistic and practical with where the issues were going to be. I had, they call it a legal practice, but it's really like, it's a research writing class in law school. I had an amazing professor there who really kind of took me aside. I was like, this is what it's going to be. This is what you're going to need. These are your issue that you're going to roll up with. She was super supportive about that way back to the arrogant thing that we discussed earlier. I didn't listen to quite as much as I should have to her. And didn't take all the full advice. Some of it was, men are really great about thinking we're exceptional, not realizing that the majority of us, we may be exceptional at certain things, but for the most part, we're going to fall into the average, right? 

 Ryon
 As far as like things that we don't think are going to happen to us. And so I fell into that. Also I was not as prepared as I should have been for law school because the technology at the time was sending out long ago, but it wasn't that good as far as it's assisted tech. I had gone through undergrad and grad school with a lot of help. I walked into law school, really not knowing how to run a computer as well as I should of really not knowing my sister tech as well as I should have. I went the first six weeks of law school and couldn't get the publishers to send my books to me in a digital format because they were afraid I was gonna like hire them and give them to my law school students for free friends. I mean for free. 

 Ryon
 I mean, you're reading a hundred pages a night, right. 30 per class. And I was all kinds of behind. I had a lot of support, but that didn't mean that I listened fully. It didn't mean that I didn't have tremendous issues along the way that some were out of my control. Some were in my control and know, it's just that journey of learning. In many ways, you kind of have to learn, you have to fail and learn in order to learn who the hell you are and what you're really good at and where you really need help and then fail hard enough to then go and ask for that help. Right. That was kind of my first journey into that. 

 Josh
 Yeah. What did that failure that was failed big enough, hard enough. Fast enough to make you go, oh s**t. I need help because competitive, right. You're competitive. You're smart. Right? You've got some talents, right? 

 Ryon
 Yep. 

 Josh
 What did it take to get, to buckle you to go, okay, I need help. 

 Ryon
 I, this is something I almost never tell anybody, just go to the snow as business. I actually felt out of law school my first year and th and again, that same legal writing professor, they gave me the school gave me two choices. I could either start back over where I basically pick up where I was, but I had to bring my GPA above. I think he was 2.0, by the end of the next semester, or I would have to start all the way over from the beginning first year, all the way over again, all my grades would be wiped. There'd be record that. I took the classes, but none of the grades, but I start all over from the beginning. I hated law school. My first year was awful. It was tough. It's awful for anybody. It was just awful. I really, that first class was kind of a weird class and like, I wasn't close to it. 

 Ryon
 It was, it was a rough situation. I was walking like this, continue where I was. I was like, I get my grades up again, arrogance. Right. My, basically that little provided professor pulled me aside and said, I don't think you can do it. But I think she was probably right. Mathematically. I don't think you can do it. I don't want you to, cause if I didn't bring my grades up by the end of that, the next semester I would be out permanently. No, no, no second chance. She was like, I don't, it's like, I don't want to be up firmly. I think you can do this. I'm going to vote for you to have to start all the way back over again. And I wasn't happy about it. I understood and respected it, but anyway, that's ended up what happened and it was the best thing to happen to me. 

 Ryon
 Right. Cause, cause what it did was not only the failure, give me a tremendous amount of humility, but it gave me the time and space, the grace to be able to really figure out what I was going to do, how I was going to approach things in a better manner and, go on and be successful and how I went on. I mean, I, I ended up getting A's in quite a few classes, BS in the quieter class, that'd be passed the bar on the front. Like I just, I wasn't prepared to go in. I didn't have the foundations that I needed to. I didn't listen as much as I should have. Once I did both of those, develop my foundations at that original first year and then I guess fundamentals is a better word. Then, actually listen to people that took their advice. I went on and Excel. 

 Ryon
 Right. Which I guess is the lesson there's, failure is only failure if you allow it to be right. It's only, it's only a stopping point if you don't try it again. That's probably the lesson out of that for most people. 

 Josh
 Yeah. Super awesome, man. I'm so glad you went on that journey. 

 Ryon
 I am too. Now. 

 Josh
 Not none of it f*****g sucks. 

 Ryon
 Yeah. Totally blew us the time. The irony is like I went back through and like I ended up, I have like amazing friends that are like lifelong friends that I never would have met if I wouldn't have been, if I hadn't had to go back, like in that being an amazing experience, but it was brutal at the time. 

 Josh
 Yeah. This is an uncensored show, but I also ask questions like the benefit of being the host and also the burden of being a host of a show is you got to ask the questions that you think the audience needs to hear. Some of the things that popped in my head, and I just want to apologize if any of this feels and I've asked you before, could I ask you anything? If any of this is insensitive or whatever, it's just, if I don't ask, I'm never going to freaking know. Right. All right. Being blind at 11 years old, right? Normal kid, somewhat normal, Joe Montana is my hero everyday on practicing on a milk farm, 15 miles from town. 

 Ryon
 That was normal. That's how different. That was like an older, by the way. 

 Josh
 Yeah. You go blind and then did people treat you differently? Cause you said I was lucky. I was lucky that my family pushed me harder. 

 Ryon
 Yeah. Yeah. I speak now occasionally and I, I, for years didn't want to speak, not for fear of speaking for fear of giving a similar version to the question that you just asked, which was a parent. My fear would be a mom with a kid with a disability who's in school who is getting bullied. We, the question would be how this would happen to you. How did you deal with it? The reason it was, I had a fear of it was because I don't know the answer to this question. I was never bullied. I was, I was never bullied in junior high school or college. I can't tell you why, other than I guess I'm me. Like, I mean, I, I, I was in athletics the whole way through, I mean, I was as much of a smart ass and popping off and joking harass people, Walker room as they were doing it back to me. 

 Ryon
 So I wasn't getting harassed. I was getting typical male, like verbal abuse. That's what guys do when they're young. Right. We verbally abuse each other. As far as like actual bullying, I was never once bullied. And I cannot tell you why. I, the reason I finally started speaking is because my answer is essentially that I know it happens. I, it never happened to me. I don't know why it didn't happen to me. I really don't want to give people false advice or even like conjecture, because that to me seems like that's a lack of character and integrity because I'm not going to make up something that I think might be a good answer when I never experienced it. Right. Because that's a big deal for a lot of people. 

 Josh
 My assumption is on the flip side of bullying, right? One is bullied because they're like, here's a blind kid. We can pick on him. We could do whatever on the flip side of bullying is like, almost like pacifying, right. Where people treat you differently and then they don't treat you like a normal boy side-by-side they actually go too easy on you. Did you experience that? 

 Ryon
 No, no. A lot of that's because I was always pushing myself, always, I was like I said, I was in athletics. No, I was in HS. I, I, student counseling, I was doing stuff. Right. Like I DJ the dancers at the time, I did stuff in high school and college and, and so, I mean, I, I mean, I, I work out all the time. I'm in great shape. Like other, the fact that I walk with a dog, you have no idea. I can't see. Right. I think a lot of that on that end is my personality. Just because of the situation I put myself in, just because of, I'm being a smart ass. Like people in the beginning was way in the very beginning. We're talking, first five minutes might be . I opened my mouth and it removes all doubt. People are like, not real soft with me very long. 

 Ryon
 It's put that way. I think that probably is my first time. 

 Josh
 Yeah. I liked that. I liked that. We, so, yeah. That's awesome. All right. This is kind off topic, but you're a DJ, deejaying dances and parties and such like that. All right. Around what timeframe, what years was this? 

 Ryon
 You're talking like actual, like, what specific year, or like we're in my high school career was that, 

 Josh
 Nah, I'm trying to think of what era of music were in when , 

 Ryon
 I need, so it was most of my freshman, sophomore year of high school. So we're talking that graduated 99, so, 

 Josh
 Okay, cool. 

 Ryon
 Yeah. So early, not midnight. 

 Josh
 Got it. So, all right. So you're playing some songs. What was like a go-to song to get the party started? Like you wanted people to jump, you wanted to feel the bass, you wanted to see the, feel the people moving. 

 Ryon
 You remember, it's been so long, it's gotta be some of the early , rap that was like, not like rapids today, more than kind of dance, rap, that kind of stuff. It's been so long. I can't even remember. I mean, I remember like the good, slow dance songs were like a Bon Jovi song was always a good, slow dance song back then, 

 Josh
 Or boys to men, you throw on some boys to men. That is definitely the way to get guys and girls. 

 Ryon
 I thinking that came around a little later, maybe not it's this way. I didn't own any boys to men in my personal collection. It was not getting at the dance. 

 Josh
 All right. Do you still do any deep deejaying? 

 Ryon
 Oh, no, I haven't done it since high school. Oh, 

 Josh
 What was your DJ name? 

 Ryon
 Didn't even worry about it. I did it for student council. So I was student council. Yeah. I just, I don't know. I did it because I was good at it. I wasn't trying to, like, this was like before the day of like PR and branding and making a name for yourself, I was like, f**k it. I was just being good at what I did. Right. It wasn't really worried about like, making it a career. So. 

 Josh
 All right. Well maybe by the end of this interview, I'll give you a DJ name. Super cool. All right. As you're going through your journey, right? You went through law school and you're like, I hate this, but you finished it, right? 

 Ryon
 Policy, 

 Josh
 You got the insurance policy looking back. Are you glad you got the insurance policy or you wish you would have followed something different? 

 Ryon
 No, no. I'm very glad. I'm not because of the insurance policy, but because of the person that made me, it forced me to become a, that journey. Right. It forced me to get much better at technology. It forced me to learn how to learn. It forced me in far fortunate this way, but I learned to think things in a different, more strategic way. Right? Like, there are all kinds of things. I learned how to reach it. All kinds of invaluable skills that came from it that, I used to this day. And so I'll never regret. The, like the confidence that I came from essentially overcoming that challenge, really, it allowed me to grow into the man. I would have been in many ways I had before I lost my vision. Right. Because, you lose your vision 12 results. It also was that put me on protozoan. 

 Ryon
 I was like 103 healthy, five foot, one, 88 pounds almost died and then came out 500, 365 pounds. Right. Cause if I'm going to prison too, it's like, but it's like, I took a huge confidence sick. Not only like, can I not see, but then I also am fed at the time. Like, it allow me in many ways to step into the person that I would have been if I had not lost my vision. Right. So, no, I don't regret it at all. 

 Josh
 Wow. Super cool. What's your dog's name? 

 Ryon
 Ziggy. He's my fourth one around the dog around sniffing. I heard his name. So he was rolling around with X. 

 Josh
 Yeah. Where'd you come up with? The name is that a Bob Marley. 

 Ryon
 He's bringing the total play they come named. He is from the CNI in Morristown, New Jersey, which is the original scene. I've done a school in America. Every, they have so many litters that every litter, so all the puppies in that litter start their names start with the same letter and they work their way through the alphabet. Right? So he was a Z litter, obviously. And it's funny. Cause like I say, he's my fourth. You get your first, you don't have a clue what you want to Nick. He's never had one, right? It gets a second. You know what you don't want? Because the first time I, one of my third, I knew what I wanted and needed in what I did and why. What I've told my last two trainers, like I needed a dog was swag because I'm a big personality. I can intimidate a dog. 

 Ryon
 If not, because of my abusive. Just if I'm not, if they're not really confident I can intimidate them. His nickname is swaggy Z because he is very alpha, very cocky and pretty much just convinced he's the man. Unfortunately, no one other than me tells him that he's not always the man, like he's told all the time how smart he is and how pretty is and all that kind of stuff. So he's pretty swaggy. 

 Josh
 Super cool. Yeah. In your journey, right, you said this, I counted three times where you said this, you said I'm lucky, right? I'm lucky when I got that brain tumor, that it blew out my eyeballs and not my brain. Right. I'm lucky that I had a family that's super supportive, but that also pushed me into uncomfortable areas. I'm super lucky that I found this teacher who pulled me aside, who challenged me? Who said, I actually voted for you to, to start over. You said, I'm lucky you said this multiple times. What's the difference between you who have gone blind at 11, have major life, had major challenges at an early age to say, I'm lucky, how in the world did you respond with that kind of approach because other people might not say that you're lucky at all. 

 Ryon
 Yeah. And it's funny because this is in theory. A lot of what I coach on in business to honest answer is, again, I'm lucky because I was kind of born that way. You know? I mean, I would love to say that I have all this work and there was a lot of work along the way that came with it. I, I am born to not necessarily the bright side of things always, but to view things as challenges because challenges can be overcome while disabilities can. I just viewed it as a challenge. And, and so that's again where I got lucky as it just happened to be my outlook on life. Right. It was kinda like there were two choices you can either curl up in a ball and cry in the corner or, get, throw your hat in the arena and go see what happens. 

 Ryon
 Right. I didn't like the first year, I didn't like the first option. One of the choices I have, right. And then the reality is looking back. I have a lot of other choices at the time. I just didn't realize it. I chose that path and that's kind of still the path that I continue to go on. Now, along that journey I've learned a lot of things too, to really reinforce that perspective, change it in some ways. Because we, we also have doubts. I mean, I don't care how successful you are. You failed a bunch of times along the way. Right. And so we also have doubts. We all have, things that hold us back. I've learned a lot of methods, reasonings, philosophies, whatever, along the way to help with that. But, but that wasn't the original, it wasn't the original cause of it. 

 Josh
 Super cool. All right. So you must be 41 42. 

 Ryon
 Just turn it back in June 41. 

 Josh
 Oh, happy birthday. So yeah, I just turned 40. So I graduated in 2000. That's the only reason I knew I'm not. 

 Ryon
 Smart. 

 Josh
 All right. I come to, I think you're in Texas, right? 

 Ryon
 Yeah. Okay. 

 Josh
 I come hang out with you in Texas. What does like a, an awesome day look like for you and your friends? Like we're going to go hang out. What's an awesome day with, 

 Ryon
 A traditional awesome day with me. My friends is oddly enough. Most of my friends are females. So, it's going someplace, having a great meal, having a wonderful conversation. No, just catching up. Right. As far as that kind of stuff. Now, I also tend to attract very confident adventuresome people. Like, for my 40th birthday, at the time I was living in Austin, a big bunch came down and we did a water obstacle park right. For my birthday. And that was amazingly fun. Yeah. A year before that we did it at the same place. We did a zip line. Right. It's like, I, we do that kind of stuff. Those aren't the daily things. Right. W w one time they came down, we did an escape room, ? Those are awesome days, but those aren't traditional awesome days. Right? 

 Josh
 Yeah. Would you ever go skydiving? 

 Ryon
 I thought about it when I was much younger. I was like, yes, absolutely. Now I would probably still do it, but I moved less. Like, yes, absolutely. So, and it's weird. It's not the fear of the skydiving. It's the, it's the fact that I can't see the ground coming up toward me. It's like, it's not like I can do a damn thing about it if I can see anyway. But there's something about that. That is psychologically kind of my barrier, if that makes sense. Right. 

 Josh
 Totally. Like I couldn't, I went skydiving, but I could not imagine doing it blind. Right. Cause. 

 Ryon
 Knowing where the ground is, right? Yeah, 

 Josh
 Yeah, yeah. Over the years, what do you think? Like, let's just say parallel universe, right. We're going to do a role-play here. Parallel universe a is the one we're currently in universe B you did not go blind. 

 Ryon
 Yep. Right? 

 Josh
 Yep. Yep. What, what super power or advantage do you think you have over parallel universe be? 

 Ryon
 Oh yeah. That one's easy. Part of this is this one, their brain works and part of this because yeah. I've lived in both worlds. I, in many ways I, I see the world completely different than everybody else does because I'm not, I don't have the frequency of notions of the way things look like what they should look like. Some of that, my superpower is become people because we're such visual creatures really focused on like trying to like control their body language, the facial expressions and all that kind of stuff. When it comes to conversations or whatever, what we don't ever think about is tone of voice. Right. Controlling that, changing that, the rate of which we speak, right? Like all that tells us so much about our emotional state, about our mental state. It's kind of a backdoor way into, to reading people. Right. That's really become one and I'm much more empathetic than I would have been, ? 

 Ryon
 Cause the other half of the questions I had never lost my vision, I would probably would have been an arrogant a*****e in many ways, because things would have been easy school sports girls all would have been easy. Right. Unless you've suffered, it's really hard to have empathy for people who have struggled. 

 Josh
 Right. 

 Ryon
 Totally. It's really given me a tremendous amount of empathy, 

 Josh
 Dude. That is so true. And congratulations on that, man. Like that's empathy is what it's a beautiful. 

 Ryon
 Yes, it is. It is. It's a painful one to acquire, but it is beautiful gift. Yeah. 

 Josh
 Yeah. I used to think, cause I was a tough kid, like my dad was Vietnam, dude. I know he taught me beat ass. Oh really cool. We might be twin brothers bro. I thought I was really tough mentally. I was a firefighter medic. I I've, I was a fighter until the first time I had anxiety attack or went through depression. Cause I thought everybody who experienced that was weak until it happened to me. That's when I grew empathy is through getting my ass kicked. Yep. You feel that you, you could read people probably better than me and you can't even see them, but you could hear them, feel them, hear how they talk, hear how they position. When you, when you work with a client, how do you use your superpower to help your clients? Cause you've worked with some pretty awesome people and some great businesses kind of give us an idea of what that looks like. 

 Ryon
 Yeah. It's a phone conversation. I, everything by phone, it's easier. We don't have to worry about like, doing something like get up and it's very much like what we're talking about. It's a conversation in you'll hear people's pauses, you'll hear like the rhythm of their rate of their speech. You can tell, are they excited about something or sad about something or they, are they thinking about asking you a question that, that they're nervous about asking for whatever reason. Right. It really gives me a lot of insight into what I'm going to do next. Right. Whether it's do I need to ask the probing question, do I need to give them a lot of praise? Do I need to give them support, like, information that will help them reach the next level, wherever it's going to be. Right. It's like that it's like medical communication, right? 

 Ryon
 It's that extra layer that allows me to know where I need to go next. Right. And, and so like that, that, that really has been because I wasn't intended to be coaching when I was younger of that really has been kind of the unforeseen benefit of it in what I currently do. 

 Josh
 Yeah. It's all over your LinkedIn where you share that you've, in the NFL community, you coached, high achieving athletes, you coach high, high performance CEOs. How did these people find you? 

 Ryon
 I reach out to them pretty much. I do a lot of, I do a lot of direct messaging on LinkedIn. I'm mostly LinkedIn because Facebook's full of just random news right now. I obviously I post a lot, so I posted things everywhere. Like, things like this, like podcast, right? Like things, I write well, but you get a complete different feel when you hear someone's voice. You think you, you hear what they've gone through. Right. There's a reason why oral traditions really. And the reason why stories, right. Or like the oldest way that we've always conveyed information is because our brains have evolved and it sticks with us. Right. It has this emotional. I really liked podcasts for that reason because people can, you can't get someone's energy really accurately on a post. Right. But you can hear it. You can feel it on a call on a podcast. 

 Ryon
 Mostly podcasts and LinkedIn outreaches is where they get an input in this blog post to. 

 Josh
 Super cool. What are your dreams like? 

 Ryon
 You mean actually like physically dreaming or do you mean like what I want to do with my life? 

 Josh
 Sure. Both. But let's start with all right. Your head hits the pillow. Yeah. You're a lot deeper than. 

 Ryon
 You're talking to a lawyer, man. I find three minis everywhere. And you ask me, 

 Josh
 All right, you had a great day. You and I went skydiving. Right. It was awesome. Bedtime, your head hits the pillow, you close your eyes and you dream, do you dream? And what are your dreams? Like, 

 Ryon
 I don't really remember my dreams that much. Well, I'll try and remember my names that much. When I do forever them, like they are still pretty visual. Right. And, and some ways, we all like to be the hero of our own story. A lot of times, ironically enough, it's me playing quarterback for football. Right. It's just living out that dream, or it could be me working through, it could be a situation that having with a person or whatever. Right. So it's pretty typical. But, but there's still, cause I was born sighted. I was a really strong visual learner. There's still visual dreams. If that makes sense. If they changed their medium. 

 Josh
 Yeah. All right. Now let's switch over to the much deeper question. What are your dreams like for your future? 

 Ryon
 You know, it's interesting question. It took me a long time to really figure that out. Because in many ways I, I do things that I would never have done. Career-wise if I had not lost my vision, I'm a real active person. I think in many ways, my whatever job I would have had would have combined physicality as much as my mental side. I think it's kind of summed up in, but also took me a long time, which is my mission statement, which is my goal is to change the world by leading inspiring and challenging the status quo. Right. I really love working with influencers, people, having conversations, speaking where I can lead, inspire, and then challenge the status quo. Isn't, really force a Lao cause whatever word you want to use people to think about things differently. Right? Because so much stuff that we're told is crap, right? 

 Ryon
 It it's how to be average. Right. And, and I mean, that's fine. We'll be average. There's no problem with it, but just realize that's what you're being. If you want more, you're going to have to think differently actively and be different. And, and I really love opening people's eyes to that. There's no shame in it because I come from a very blue collar family and sometimes I get accused of being too big for my britches. When it comes to the way that they view life, they're absolutely right. I am too big for my bridges. I think I deserve more. That can be a very arrogant thing to say and can come across in a very arrogant way. I don't mean it that way. I just want more for my life than they do. And there's no right or wrong there. It's just what I want to do, what they want to do. 

 Ryon
 And, and so it's knowing that does make you different. It's knowing that you may have to act differently in different situations, in different crowds. Then, just embracing who you want to be and why you want to be that person. What's going to get you there. 

 Josh
 Super cool. Got some personal questions. Right. What advantages are there, if any, to being blind? 

 Ryon
 Oh, like I said, the acquisition empathy, it was one of them actually seeing the world in different ways than other one of them. It's actually a great screening mechanism for friends. Should it be people aren't going to befriend someone with a disability, but people who are genuine kind compassionate will, so I have amazing friends. 

 Josh
 You probably have noticed friends in the world. 

 Ryon
 I do. I have some really amazing friends. Yeah. I'm super lucky that way too. Now that was a lot because of me as much as them, but yeah. That's probably been one, I, I don't have to, I don't have to screen through a lot of s****y people because it's kind of a, external screening mechanism. 

 Josh
 That's I would have never even thought of that. 

 Ryon
 I wouldn't have either until I lost her. Right. Yeah. I mean, yeah. He has this disability, there are a lot of like true advantages. I mean, there are some like the ones I described, I mean, the reality is it does affect a lot of things. It does cause a lot of headaches. No. I mean, I guess I'm, anyways, I'm much more creative in my problem solving than I would be. It is another one, but that's because I've learned to be not if that makes sense. Right. So yeah. Yeah, 

 Josh
 Sure. Now you said you had to learn how to learn. Right? I'm a, I, I see things and I could pick up some, but it's when I do things is when I really learned. I, I listen to a lot of books, podcasts, a lot of, speaking, how in the world do you take notes? How do what are some advice you have for no, for learning? 

 Ryon
 I don't take a, I know notes I should. I know. When I do know I did it on my iPhone. Yeah. Cause it, it actually speaks to me and stuff. I, I do a pages or notes or whatever do there, but I, I do a lot of what you're talking about too, books, podcasts, but what I like to do as far as learning is I guess I do right now that I think about it, one of the best ways to really learn is to teach it. Right. That sounds, I'll take what I learned. I'll put it in a blog post or I'll use it in a, in a coaching with a client. Right. A lot of the way I learn is, which is exactly what I'm talking about, it's doing right. I, I, I use it, I work with it. I, I do stuff. It becomes a part of me versus, one ear out the other, 

 Josh
 What was, what was your most favorite memory? Like if we can, you and I are hanging out, we're having a cocktail or coffee or whatever, and we're looking back on your favorite memory ever. What is it? 

 Ryon
 Favorite memory ever. Oh, that's a good question. I don't know. To be honest with you, I, I have a lot of great ones. Yeah. I mean, I can just come up with one. I mean, so if you want a memory that kind of sums up me, right? So I'm up in New Jersey. I'm 17 getting my first scene. I had darker eyes, middle of man. I w w w most of the time we work in pairs, but I walk faster than everybody. We had an odd number of my groups. I, I, wasn't working with a pair and I'm walking and I end up behind this other working pair who were walking in slower. Am I, am I instructed? Like when you get to the corner, ask them if you can go before they do, I'm like, sure. I did, and I'm telling my doctor to go left. 

 Ryon
 We're turning the corner. I'm like, he won't do it. So I'm like more rest, like left. All of a sudden he jumped, I feel him go, but it's like this big, like leap upwards. I'm like, I have no freaking clue what we're doing, but I figured I needed to go up high with them. I kinda like big this big jump. Like we kind of leaping steps go left and we go, we get to the corner. My instructor and his, his lead instructor are laughing their ass. I'm like, what is so funny? Like, do you realize you just jumped over like an 18 inch planter? Like, hell no, the dog just went. I went with him like, but that's if that's kind of me, if that makes sense, right? Like you just kinda like, that's what life is. Right. You have obstacles, you have s**t. Don't always know where it is, but you just gotta follow your gut and go with it. 

 Ryon
 Right. I'm not sure that's my favorite memory, but it's a memory that I always thinking sums up kind of who I am in some ways. Right. 

 Josh
 Yeah. That's super cool. You jumped over it. You didn't even know there was an obstacle, 

 Ryon
 No clue, but I knew he went high for a reason. I should probably do the same thing with them. Yeah. The dog never rarely is the dog. Never should've done that. That was really poor working decision on his part. But, but, but it's, I mean, that's what life is, right. It's challenges and it's figuring out ways going over. 

 Josh
 All right. I grabbed your phone and I looked through the most common played song ever since you've been a DJ till now. What's the song that has been played the most in all your years. 

 Ryon
 See, I have all kinds of, I, it's funny cause it's new. We grow and evolve as humans. Right. It very well could be a rockstar by Nickelback back in the day that one gets played quite a bit. I'm trying to think what's some of the other ones that I really like could be variable. It could be a Bon Jovi song. I was a big bunch OVI fan, but he just writes, really deep music. Very well could be a Bon Jovi song back in the day. Yeah. That's a good question. 

 Josh
 Thanks man. As you're going through life, we talked about a dream, part of your mission statement is you want to change the world. Do you want to have an impact on the world? And you want to help people? I know you said you chose coaching, which does not have an insurance policy, kind of attached to it, but it's a pure mental game, right? Yep. 

 Ryon
 Yep. 

 Josh
 What was the hardest part of getting into that and where, how far have you come in the world of coaching? 

 Ryon
 This is the easy, this is the, I guess the good thing, the bad thing about coaching, it's a low frigging bar to get into the, like the point of entry is not much right. Which means there's a lot of really bad coaches out there. A lot of great coaches, the problem is a lot or really bad coaches are good at what I'm bad at, which is like marketing and self promotion. Right. It doesn't mean they can coach the way out of a paper bag. So, the easy part was getting in the hard part is client acquisition. It's on my end. I sometimes think in order to be a good salesperson, you have to go out three quarters of a sociopath. I refuse to over promise and under deliver. Like I'm not going to sit and be like, yeah, I can change your life. I can only change it if you're willing to be changed. 

 Ryon
 Right. If you're willing to put it on the work. And, and so like for me, the biggest thing is as far as like, it's always been client acquisition, not client retention, but acquisition. So, cause I just, I'm not going to, I refuse to play that game. Yeah, I think that was the question you asked. Yeah. That's the biggest thing. 

 Josh
 How long have you been doing it and what are some of the highlights that you've experienced being a coach and, working with athletes and working with CEOs. 

 Ryon
 Probably four years now, Hey, five highlights, this little things, watching people like go on and achieve their dreams. I was talking to I a client call me last night and randomly like just hearing things like, they're really glad that they have in their lives or have someone that they can talk to have someone that listens to have someone that, really helps them see things in a different way. It takes someone like having a really awful day and all of a sudden, they're having a great day and they're feeling positive about their future, helping someone change the trajectory of their business. I really, I, I I've discovered I'm super creative and I connect thoughts. Other people don't see. I really enjoyed the business part of it and helping people do that. Like, that's super cool. I had a client that, she knew all this stuff. It was just having the conversation, got started and started losing a bunch of weight again. 

 Ryon
 Right. And she was a model. Right. But, but she just wasn't happy with herself and in today's situations and like, one change, which we work on led to a bunch of other positive changes. That when you started seeing those kinds of like chain of events, things like those were super cool and powerful as well. And then I got opportunities. Like I had an opportunity to go see a show for a while with a client, a radio show. Right. I get opportunities like that every once in a while, because of the work that I do and the people that I meet and that's always fun. 

 Josh
 Yeah. W as a coach, right. You, you have to constantly be learning, growing, stretching yourself. What's, what's one of the most recent discoveries or the most recent challenges that you've had to overcome, or that you've overcome. 

 Ryon
 It's funny that you say that because I haven't, one of my things is I made a promise that I was going to continue to learn, grow, and evolve. Something that you used to have those three words, most recent challenge that I've had overcome. I didn't realize for the longest time that I was, I guess this connects to my spiritual side and because of it just different things that went on, I guess I kind of went down that path and started like reading and learning and all of a sudden discovered I'm a b***h. I have not been connected to this for God knows how long, probably related to losing my vision and I'm going to different. I don't know why this is, but from the standpoint of once, I'm kind of aware of something and decided to make a change. It's not a light switch, man. 

 Ryon
 It's f*****g on. We go with it. What was coming once I realized it and discovered it was like, just boom, like the flood gates opened up. And, I, I just, I discovered that I'd been missing like a third of humanity for the longest time, mind, body, and spirit, right? The spirit part of it, and it just took everything I knew and gave it a much deeper, more profound meaning understanding. That's what spirituality is in many ways, it's that deeper, more profound meaning to life, right. To the question of why you do what you do. And, and the problem with that question is, and the problem with spirituality is words will never convey what that feeling is. Right. I mean, you can try, but it will never truly convey, that feeling, that sense of profoundness, that sense of purpose. Right. Once you experienced, you're like, oh wow, this changes everything. 

 Ryon
 Even though it was a challenge, I didn't know I had, that was probably the biggest one that I had. It was a latent challenge. Biggest challenge I ever had overcoming recently. 

 Josh
 Yeah. Mind, body, and spirit. A lot of us, we focus on our mind. We read, we learn our body. We do exercises, pushups, sit ups, whatever, but we ignore our spirits, especially the men I would. 

 Ryon
 Say. Yeah. 

 Josh
 Right. Cause why do you think that is? 

 Ryon
 First of all, I call that. I that to me is like the holy Trinity of life. Right. Mind, body, and spirit. Why do I think that is so, and it's funny because I read a lot of books and a lot of the books I read are like, period pieces way back in the day and way back in the day. I mean, were really tied, tapped into like the spiritual side of it, men and women. In many ways, like men kind of led that more. Even though like a lot of like the so-called spiritual, which would be religion in our society is done by a man. I think in some ways it's kind of seen as weak or unnecessary, or maybe it's because with our current technology, it's not something that can be measured. Right. If it can't be measured, it can't, if you can't quantify it, you can't measure b******t, but we're kinda in that society. 

 Ryon
 Right. I think that's some of it, it was ignored. I think it's, kind of considered a softer art, which, men right now, softwares, aren't always what, men are taught to do and be, especially in the business world. And, it's a scary f*****g journey, man. I mean, spirituality, like, we all talk about like the positive parts of it and it's positive. Once you go through that journey, it's a scary f*****g journey to go through. I mean, there's reasons why ancient cultures had rites of passage, right. That Rite of passage was essentially a spiritual journey. A spiritual passage, people died on those passages, getting upset, like things, good things didn't happen always. It's not the most comfortable journey in the world to go through and, and unless you're really wanting to do it or like are brave enough, like it's just easier not to, I think in some ways. 

 Ryon
 Yeah. 

 Josh
 This is a recent development, 41 years old, I'm 40. I'm kind of just figuring it out now, or at least realizing that I have big gaps in my life. And I'm like, oh s**t. Like when I was younger, I looked at, I was just arrogant. I just like, I'm going to have my, all my stuff together when I'm 40, I don't know. 

 Ryon
 Yeah. I'm the exception to the rule. 

 Josh
 Nope. This Rite of passage for a guy who feels, why, what symptoms or signs might be where a man, maybe not a man may not have gone through a Rite of passage or he's missing out on a step missing. You know what I mean? Do you understand the. 

 Ryon
 Question? How do you haven't found your cert signs? 

 Josh
 Yeah, yeah. 

 Ryon
 Emptiness, right. It's, it's it's so it's going through life, having a bunch and realize, like, I feel empty. I feel hollow white, like what's the whole f*****g purpose behind us. Right. That's usually somebody who hasn't gone to this group. Right. And, and it's, that's what it was for me. Right. It was, it was that sense of like emptiness on a where it's a deep, profound, emotional thing. Right. It's not me. It wasn't that I wasn't like living a happy life, having a great time, being all that fun and adventure. Right. It's what I have a great time, but I just didn't have this like deep inside feeling of it's weird reading stoicism or so one time they were talking about like, feeling like you have enough. I hate that word because my fear was like, once you feel like you have enough, you lose that drive. 

 Ryon
 Right. That I discussed it with somebody who doesn't want to lose that. The word we came up with was actually with a group was peace. Right. I think it's not having that internal piece and buy a piece is doesn't mean I'm not going to go out and bust my ass. Doesn't mean I'm not like striving for bigger, better, but it means I'm at peace with the results. I'm at peace with who I am. I'm at peace with what I've done to get there. By that, I mean, today, it doesn't mean I'm going to try to better tomorrow, but it's day, I'm at peace with who I am, what I've done and where I'm going. And, and so like that right there is the, to me, what's like the spiritual journey gives you, it gives you that internal peace. If you don't have that's, it's, I'm talking about, and that's the, that lack of a spiritual component, I think. 

 Josh
 Yeah. Before our call, I was reading through your blog and these are some of the titles. So let's do a shout out. Where could people guys listen to and where could they read some of your work? What shout out to your website? 

 Ryon
 Our website is Ryan, R Y O N S square.com. And then I made it simple. I'm found everywhere at Ryan as far. I used to my Twitter and Instagram and all that kind of good Jess. 

 Josh
 Yeah. It's R Y O N, which why'd your parents do that instead of R Y a N like, 

 Ryon
 I would love to give you like a really cool story behind that. Like I had these weird hippie parents that are like, did things differently it was the last name of a guy who owned like a settle shop. My mom liked the name and like the spelling and my mom was horses and rides. It was one of those like, yeah, not a very sexy story, but it's a true story. 

 Josh
 You're named after a saddle maker only in Texas, 

 Ryon
 Texas, 

 Josh
 Reading through, let me, so we'll put this in the show notes, but some of the highlights that I'm seeing, and I'm going to read this off, cause I want to encourage guys to go check it out. Do you know who you are? Look beyond to see the real me true success follows inner work, true business growth is a result of spiritual growth. The last one that I saw, which ties into what you just said, finding peace is a competitive advantage. Let's tear that one apart for a second. What do you mean by competitive advantage for peace now, before you answer, I got to say this I'm a driven dude. I am massively ambitious and being content. I was like, if I'm my fear was, if I could become content, I'm going to lose the edge. 

 Ryon
 Yup. Yup. 

 Josh
 Finding pieces that competitive advantage, which I thought ambition was my competitive advantage. Explain this to me. 

 Ryon
 This is a competitive advantage. I think probably finding pieces another, right? Like, like there's more than one advantage. That's what solid is. I think a point to bring out and what it is so we've found I am peace. It's it's like I said, it's not that you're not striving for more. It's in grace of, you're okay with who you are today, what you're doing today. Because if you're a competitive person, that means you busted ass today, you worked hard today. You, you did the thing that you needed to do today to make sure tomorrow was gonna be great. This is learning to accept that, be okay with that, be okay with the fact that you're not where you want to be, but you are on that journey. You are doing the things that you need to do. You acknowledge that there's going to be, setbacks, failures, whatever, but you're okay with where you are today. 

 Ryon
 You're also okay with the fact that you're going to be further tomorrow. Right. What that does is it allows you to come into situations, come into conversations, have the mindset of humility, have the mindset of, I don't know everything, but I'm wanting to learn. I have that mindset of, my, my situation, my clients are gonna have setbacks. They're gonna have failures. They're not going to be perfect. Like give them the time, the space, the grace, to express that, to deal with that and go on and, figure it out and overcome, right? Like so many people, we w we have this illusion like perfectionism, right. People make mistakes and they get railed for, well, f**k. We all make mistakes. We've all failed. It's just not always on like national TV to be displayed for everybody. Right. If it was, you would give that person so much more grace for making the mistake, right. 

 Ryon
 That got nationally air. Right. And like, that's what peace gives you. It gives you that understanding that humility. Right. The reason it's a competitive advantage is because it allows you to think about things differently. People's situations, whatever, which gives you different strategies, which attracts different, like, well, frankly it attracts better clients to you. Right. And my situation. Like that to me, is how it's a competitive advantage because what? Life is a f*****g marathon, not a sprint right now, along that marathon, you're going to have those moments of, oh my God, I can't do this. Oh my God, I can't finish this. Oh my God. I, and if you don't have that inner grace to like, acknowledge it, let it through you. Cause as part of it, you realize it's part of the journey you're going to give up. 

 Josh
 Yeah. I love it, dude. What's a good way for people to connect with you. Right. It at Ryan S wire, any social handle, your website? What if someone's like, man, I need some help. What's a good way to do that. 

 Ryon
 Yeah. You can miss it on any of those because it's easy to direct messaging. Also my email, which is Brian, R Y O N Ryan esquire.com. Any of those are I'm on them all the time. Any of those are like the easiest way. If you want to reach out on LinkedIn, whatever. So. 

 Josh
 Super cool. What questions should I have asked you that I screwed up and did not ask? 

 Ryon
 Oh, that's a good, no, I'm not sure. I have answer to that. One question you asked that screwed up and didn't match. I, I, it could have been, anything could have been something deeper about like, what it was like what it was like to lose my vision. That could have been one rider or like, this was like, this wasn't a question, but it's probably an interesting topic. Right? I didn't realize the power of identity. I read atomic habits, which I'm for a lot of your followers have read and it really gave me. That was the biggest thing I got out of. It was X it's a part of it. It really allowed me to realize that how we view ourselves and how we view ourselves in the world really determines very much like how we act, how we behave and whatever, and the, where it was a revelation for me was not so much. 

 Ryon
 I didn't know that, which cause, I mean, I haven't met a master because it's like, it's not what we talked about, but it was the fact that even though I was like, if I didn't do it, I'm not going to brag about it because I didn't do it. Right. I'm I can talk about, and for me, I was not acknowledging the fact that I still view myself as that NFL quarterback. Right. Because I was never able to play. I never, I wasn't even played junior high and much less than it fell. Like, how can I talk about this? And, and what I realized was it wasn't, the physical attribute, right? It wasn't the, how far can I throw a ball? How is my spiral? How accurate is it? It was the intangible leader of men, unifying people behind a vision, right. Motivating people, what am I doing in my job, all of those things. 

 Ryon
 Right? Once I switched it to me, like those soft skills, I was really fully able to embrace and step into my identity because that's how I see the world. That's how I see myself in it. Right. It's a competitor. It's that person who is a teammate, who's a leader of a team and uniting people who is like helping them achieve their goal, which in this case would be a Superbowl, right. As far as an NFL quarterback. So, that might be one is just that importance of like, understanding what is your identity? How is it affecting how you're viewing in the world? Also is that identity serving you. It serving you in the way that you want it to? If it's not, you can change it. If it is you're lucky. Right. So. 

 Josh
 You have said the word lucky, probably, in six different instances or whatever, 

 Ryon
 That's, 

 Josh
 That's awesome, man. That's. 

 Ryon
 Like, look, it's when opportunity meets preparation, meets opportunity. Right. There are times that you just get lucky. Right. The reality is just because you get lucky, doesn't mean you're ready to step into it. Right. I'm a big believer in like, luck just happens. Like you need to do the work. That way, when the opportunity is there, you can step into it and then have the ability to be like, I'm lucky. Right? Yeah. So that's kinda how I view it. 

 Josh
 Love it, dude. Well, Ryan, thanks for being on the show. Dudes as always reach out to our guests, say, thanks for being on the show. As always, if they're saying something that you need help with, reach out to them and say, Hey, I need help. Like, let that be a normal practice of us becoming better. Men is just being able to ask for help. That's called humility. It's pretty awesome. Painful to get awesome once you get it, but then it's hard to keep, right? Because. 

 Ryon
 All of them say, we're the reason for our success and it's done by a team, right? 

 Josh
 So you got it wrong. Guys, as always reach out to our guests, if you have some advice to share for guys and you want to come on the show here, head on over to uncensored advice for men.com, fill out a quick form and we'll get you on the show. Next, our purpose, mission, and everything we do here is to help dudes. So we'd love you guys. We'll talk to you all on the next episode. See, y'all Ryan, you hang one second. I want to chat with you.