Advocating For Our Gender with Rudy Dajie

 Josh
 Hey, good day fellows. First of all, I love you guys. And, and I want to thank you for listening into uncensored advice for men. We've interviewed porn stars, pastors, not in the same room, but in everywhere in between to bring you guys in the audience and myself, some hope, some inspiration education and some tough advice. Sometimes, sometimes us guys need to get kicked in the nuts and get pointed back on track. This purpose of the show is for us as guys to learn and grow together. With that, I wanted to invite a guy who is super transparent, super successful, but had some bumps in the road. I wanted to bring him to the show to share his story. With that, Rudy dodgy, did I say that right? The last one. 

 Rudy
 Got you got to close man. Dodgy. I'm not a porn star. I'm not a pastor by AMA pharmacist. I kind of fit in with the piece. 

 Josh
 Yeah, you're right in the middle of the. 

 Rudy
 Two in the middle. 

 Josh
 So Rudy. All right, so we're hanging out. We're we're at a bar or something like that. We're hanging out. One of my buddies walk up and I go, Hey, dude, I want to introduce you to my friend, rod, a dodgy, Rudy dodgy. I love, I love your last name. You got to tell me the origin of that, but I want to introduce you to my buddy Rudy. He goes, cool, man, who are you? What do you do? That's typically how else guys start our conversation, right? Yeah. So who are you? What do you do? 

 Rudy
 Who am I? Well, that is a really deep question, right? I guess it depends on what book you read. If we go with the colloquial American standard, who am I, I'm Rudy dodgy, I'm a doctor of pharmacy. I went to mass college of pharmacy. I'm an entrepreneur. I have successfully sold businesses and started new ones. I'm a real estate entrepreneur. I have a very large commercial real estate portfolio. I exited a business to private equity in 2018 at a little under 40. Maybe I was just 40. I'd have to do the math on that, I guess. And, and it was, it was a windfall enough that I get to really, I bought time. I get to do what I want to do when I want to do it. It doesn't mean that means I sit on my ass and watch Netflix. What that means to me is I leveraged up, right? 

 Rudy
 I, I get to take care of the important things. Like my physical health, my mental health, my sport is business. I have leveraged up and I'm doing other things in business. I'm out there helping people with their businesses that are, have really good roots, but they're f****d up and they need somebody to help them get to where they need to get to. I'm a father. I think I've become a better father over the years. I don't think I've always been the best father that I could have been. I think I'm a lot of things, and I think I have a really holistic approach to life. And, and I think I'm out here, advocating for our gender as well. I think that we've got some big shoes to fill and I think we need to man up. 

 Josh
 All right. Man, there's a lot in that, right? Like that is that question. Over the years, I, I even have it tattooed on my arm. It says, who am I? Because I believe as guys we need to, that's one of the philosophical, fundamental questions. We have to be able to ask herself as like, who am I? What does it mean to be that? You said, you're an advocate for our gender. What do you mean by that? 

 Rudy
 Well, I think that our society has become polarized. I think that it's not just ethnicities against each other. I think men are against women and women are against men. I think men are not leaders of their homes anymore or their families. I think our society has made men look pathetic and we've allowed that, right? Like everybody loves Raymond, the bumbling guy that has no f*****g balls and isn't running his house. I was saying that we should be looking at Archie bunker and saying like, that's what we should be. But I'm saying there's something in between. And, and I think that, I, I have a necklace, and it's, and you can't really see it. Well, you can't see any way, cause this is an audible, but it's a warrior. I consider myself a warrior every day. I look in the mirror and I'm ready to grind. 

 Rudy
 It's about doing the hard things and hard things don't always have to be physically or mentally. It could just be something that you have to overcome that gives you anxiety. Like a number of years ago, my girlfriend and I broke up and I had never really cooked. I was like, this is a big f*****g problem. Like, I'm like, I don't want to eat chicken patties every day. I had to go on my own journey. I hired a chef, like an in-house chef to come in and make meals. Eventually after a while I was like, eh, this isn't what I want. I forced myself to overcome my anxieties and just start making meals. Right. My, but I don't think people really understand why they don't want to do something until they start peeling the onion back. Right. It wasn't that I was lazy or I didn't want to make meals. 

 Rudy
 It was that I was afraid for them to be imperfect. I was afraid for my son to be like, this tastes like s**t. And, and how do I work through that? I finally just woke up one day and said, f**k it. I'm going to go to the grocery store. And I'm going to look at recipes. I'm a f*****g pharmacist. Like I can do this and I got past it. But, and I share that as a simple one, because people may think that it's about like, oh, I got to get to the gym. You know what? If you don't want to go to the gym and you want to start, then go to the gym. Even if you don't know what you're doing, ask somebody, spend a little money on a trainer. People need to invest in themselves. As men. We need to invest in ourselves. 

 Rudy
 Like we forget having a really nice car, have a decent car and spend some money on a trainer. That's going to hold you accountable. I think those are the important things. Longevity, life health, because you get in that car every day. After the first week I have a lot of nice cars. I don't really give a s**t where I park them. They're nice. After the first week I'm like, oh my God, I'm driving my range Rover or my Bentley or whatever. It's just a car. When you get up in the morning and you look in the mirror and you've got your shirt off and you look f*****g great, it starts your day off. Good. So invest in yourself. I don't know where I was going with this, Josh. 

 Josh
 No. So, all right. Do you, do you mind, if, do you mind if I poke if I played devil's advocate, 

 Rudy
 Hoke, all you want, man. 

 Josh
 All right. We're hanging out, we're having cocktails and people are, we're chilling. We're in an environment of trust. All right. I leaned across the table and I go, listen, Rudy. Yeah. Sucks to be you Bentley, range Rover. You hired a chef to get over your anxiety. Like, come on, bro. This is like b******t. Like I have to cook ramen noodles, right? Like, and I have different anxieties. Let's take it from this point perspective. Do rich guys do successful guys have struggles and anxieties? Because what I heard is I feared making some food for my kid because I didn't want to be rejected. I have this high need for perfection and I'm afraid to fail. That's what I heard. What are your thoughts? 

 Rudy
 Absolutely. I have a, I am OCD clean. I have exceptionally high expectations of myself and others and yeah. I want everything to be perfect. Day one. I don't play baseball because I suck at it, ? I'm not going to do those things. Now if I had to be forced to do it, because that was meth mode of survival, I don't know how I'd have to overcome that and I'd have to say, this is something important, but yeah, rich guys have a little problems and they have big f*****g problems too. They say like more money, more problems. I mean, that's really true, but there's also basic inherent problems. And I didn't start this way. I wasn't handed this money. I was grew up in a middle-class household. I took every penny I had and got an SBA loan. I got married, got pregnant, moved from Connecticut to Massachusetts, bought a business all in the same year, in 2012. 

 Rudy
 I was on the line to the SBA for $5 million. I worked 13, 14 hours a day, seven days a week because I knew what I wanted to accomplish. I got divorced in the process. My son was young, maybe two and a half years old. You can make sacrifices and you make your choices. I, and I'm fine with all of those things, because for me, I don't know what the alternate ending is. Some people always like, well, what do you think you would do differently? I'm like, I wouldn't f*****g do anything differently because I don't know what the alternate ending would be. 

 Josh
 Yeah, yeah, no, that's true. When it comes to, sometimes we forget because we spend a lot of time as guys I'm guilty comparing. Right. I look at, I look at this dude. I'm like, man, that guy has it easy. He's got, it made everything. He touches turns to gold dudes never had a struggle, but I look in his medicine cabinet, alcohol and drugs and all this s**t because he's dealing with some internal thing. Sometimes we forget that, it is not easy being a human. Right. As men, I think we are, we have our own struggles. What kind of struggles do you think guys are having today that we might not have had 50 years ago or a hundred years ago? 

 Rudy
 Yeah. I think that guys are really struggling with social media. I think guys are really struggling with image issues. I think it was a lot more in the past, just like, wait a minute, struggled with image issues. I think now that men circled the image issues just as much, I think there's a lot more pressure on men now to be successful, wealthy, funny, interesting in good shape. You have to have all of these things to be a considered high quality guy. As a woman, you just have to beautiful, right? Like that's really all it comes down to. I think the tables are really turned, right? Oh, you gotta be over six feet too. Right. You gotta be overlapped. 

 Josh
 I got checked off that one. Yeah. 

 Rudy
 So, and I don't think we are. I think we knew used to really know our place in society. Right. Like were to go to work and I think were to build businesses and I think were to be successful and were to have some quality time and be provider and protector for our families. I think some of the issues that we're having as men are self-inflicted too right. I think that we've gotten lazy and we're okay with that. Everybody loves Raymond life where, if we don't take the trash out, unless our wife tells us to, or girlfriend tells us to take the trash out or we have no initiative and we don't lead. I think that we've created some of our own issues. I feel like our, my pharmacy profession is like that too. It's not very good at advocating for itself. I feel like we've just said, okay, well, Hey man, it's easier this way. 

 Rudy
 So I'll just go with it. It leads down to a very slippery slope. I think we're going to have some, or we already having identity play, issues with, what exactly is the masculine or male role in our society. I mean, those are my opinions about that. I think we got some work to do and I totally, yeah. 

 Josh
 Matt Walsh did a thing where he went around and he was like, okay, all this thing about gender, right. He just asked a question, what is a woman? Like, they made a movie about a documentary about it because for people who are attacking gender, this show is called uncensored advice for men. I get, I get some hate messages just for that. It's, like there is, there's this question, like what is the woman? They made a documentary and I made a show for men. That creates polarity just in the title of it. W when it comes to men, you say, I think that we're lacking initiative and leadership. Before we hit record, you said men are not supposed to have it easy. I worked my ass off and, tried to invest and all this stuff, because I want more comfort or more easy, or I want my kids to have it easier. 

 Josh
 Am I really aiming at the right thing, Rudy, what's your thoughts? 

 Rudy
 Well, I think that you want to work to have things you want to work to have a better lifestyle, but you've got to work to get there, right? You have to experience with this. If I lost everything today, I would get up tomorrow and started all over again. If I got to work 13, 14 hours a day, now keep in mind. I am very conscientious about preserving what I've accomplished, but I'm not afraid of having to do it again. Where I think a lot of people are afraid to even start doing it. I think that to be tough and to be able to go through things mentally and physically tough, which is something that you have to be so that when your girl breaks up with you or you lose your job or crisis occurs, or your kid gets sick, that you can manage through those things and make the right decisions and work, resolve what is going on because nobody's coming to save you. 

 Rudy
 I think that's the mistake that we all make like, oh, somebody is going to come say, no, that is our job. Our job is to figure it out, solve the problem and move forward. Like that's, you know what? We're supposed to go kill the wooly mammoth. 

 Josh
 How would you have done it? How would you have killed the wooly mammoth? Alright, so you and I are in the cave and we just made some fire for the family and it's just you and I are going hunting. Like what would be your weapon of choice for going after a wooly mammoth together? 

 Rudy
 I mean, one of my choices. Yeah. 

 Josh
 I don't know, dude. I just made fire from a rock. It's your turn to pick the weapons. 

 Rudy
 Oh man. You always making care of that. Good thing. I get big shoulders taken care of you too. 

 Josh
 All right. I'm using rocks because I just made fire. 

 Rudy
 Yeah. I'm going with the spear man. I'm going, I'm a little distance. So, I'm not going to get like tusks to death, but I think I'm going with the spear. Yeah. 

 Josh
 Yeah. Now give me your stats. You, you said you have wide shoulders. How tar are you? How much do you weigh currently? 

 Rudy
 So I'm 5, 10, 2 12. 

 Josh
 Yeah. So I'm the speed guy. You're you're the muscle. You throw the spirits. 

 Rudy
 And stuff with the muscle. 

 Josh
 I'm the bait. I'll run in front of the wooly mammoth. And I'm 5, 8 1 7 1. 

 Rudy
 I'm not, I'm not going to win at flag football, so that's good. 

 Josh
 Yeah. No one is coming to save you men. Right? Like, I, I love this like image. Like it is our responsibility to go, Hey, we are responsible. Like I stand up and go, okay, send me. I'm responsible for saving myself, for saving my family. I'm responsible for that. It's not going to be the, government's not definitely not going to be Facebook or YouTube. Right. It's going to be like us guys going all right. I take responsibility for my small little circle. Me, my wife, my kids may be my business. Right? No, one's coming to save you. Nobody's going to come save us by the way, when we get run over by the wooly mammoth. When did you come to this realization? Because from the way you're talking, you've had to overcome something big. You've had to overcome a dark point in your life to be thinking and talking the way you're talking now, what was that? 

 Rudy
 Yeah. Two years ago, I think we just talked about this, my girlfriend and I broke up and it was like a four year relationship. We were, I was very dependent, I would say on her. And, and she was a beautiful girl and it just didn't work out. And I also had sold my business. Right. I had really lost a lot of the identifying things that I utilize to identify myself. Right. Like I was the CEO of my company. I was the most important person in that organization. I was worshiped, I was successful within that company. People adored me and were like, wow, this guy has it. All right. I, I sold it and I was out. I lost the next thing, which was, my boyfriend, provider status. Right. And then it was from there. I really had to pick up all the pieces and figure out what was important to me, who I really was and am, and really to get my s**t together and realize that's not the most important thing. 

 Rudy
 That I had to get really mentally and physically tough. I spent the past two years, I was always successful in all these other things, but I was very ego driven and that was just fake bravado. Right? Like I, I had a lot of fake bravado and now I'm very confident in who I am and what I can accomplish. So, and I think you have to really think about those things, peel the onion back and be willing to self-reflect. I think a lot of people are just like a skipping rock on water. Like they're just bouncing along making excuses. And I had to own it. Like I wasn't the best boyfriend and there were, and I don't know, she probably wasn't the best girlfriend, but I owned my s**t and I own my s**t. Every single day. I look in the mirror, I have no regrets. 

 Rudy
 I wake up every day. If I f****d up yesterday, I move forward today. That's it. I don't worry about yesterday, but I generally try to live by, this karma principle. Good begets. Good. I only try to practice good things and that's worked for me. If I don't think it's the right thing, I just don't do it. You know, 

 Josh
 My identity in the past. And I've been bankrupt. I've been on food stamps. I've been, I've also worked in venture capital and private equity, but on the kind of guy where the pendulum has to swing, like so far on both sides of the coin. Right. I was massively ego-driven fake bravado like you and I might be twin brothers. You're, you're probably a little older than me. I'm 40. How old are you? 

 Rudy
 Not a little bit. I'm only 43. So, I mean, I'm your brother. I'm your tan brother. 

 Josh
 Yeah. Yeah. My tan brother, like, but fake bravado drove me through, but I was fooling myself. Right. I was completely full of myself. I had to absolutely hit rock bottom, crash and burn to kind of wake up and go, all right, I've got to, I got to figure this s**t out. Before I had to do self-reflection because before that I was pointing fingers and I was blaming and making excuses, I had to take responsibility and go, Hey, man, I made these mistakes. I need to go back and clean up some mess in order to move forward. For a while, and before we hit record, you said, and I'm like, man, this is so true. I suffered in silence and in solitude and it drove me nuts. I started having panic attacks. I started getting depressed and I'm a, normally a happy guy who likes people. 

 Josh
 But man, I started really going inward. W how did you respond? Lost identity? Right? Sold my business no longer the man Rudy route. Right? No long. 

 Rudy
 I didn't get a hundred emails every day. I didn't have a thousand phone calls anymore where like, Hey, Rudy, I have a problem. Or how do I solve this? Right. Like that took me a good year. It took me a good year after I was out of my business to really figure my s**t out. I was first panicked. I was like, I got to find a job. I got to find a new thing I got to get. And, and that was painful. The breakup was even more painful, but like super important in me really figuring my s**t out because I couldn't solve those problems with my ego. I couldn't solve those problems with my wealth. I couldn't S I really hit rock bottom and had to say like, how many times are you going to do this before you really think about doing something different here? 

 Rudy
 I decided to invest in myself. I got a trainer. I worked out, I pushed myself, physically pushed myself mentally. Now I really think about things before I make decisions before I used to just be a fighter, right? Like power versus force. I used to just force everything. Now I'm a power person. And, and, you couldn't, I, you could bring a fight to me and I would take it. I, if I had numerous lawsuits because I did not give a f**k, I was Rudy. I'm now really came down a different path. I really think about, is it really worth it? Is it worth the fight? Like what's the cost benefit and getting, you can get so much more out of things by going to the power route versus force. If you guys ever have a chance to read power vs force chapter eight, great book, but it really talks about how you can approach things. 

 Rudy
 I think that you really have to be willing to do the work. It wasn't an easy two years, ? I, I, I've done lots of work and it's okay to get help with some of that work. Right. Like I saw a therapist, I saw an energy therapist. I went to, I have a chiropractor that does nutrition, via muscle testing, as well as like Cairo. And look, I'm a math science guy. I'm a pharmacist three years ago. If you had said, Hey, listen, man, like, I think you should go see like an energy therapist. I would have been like, what the f**k are you talking about? Hey, there's nothing wrong with me and be, go f**k yourself. That shit's f****d. Like CU like even Cairo. I didn't believe in Cairo. I was like, I was like, they're not even real doctors, Dr. Mike, if you're on listening to this, sorry, bro. 

 Josh
 We love you Dr. Mike. 

 Rudy
 So, but I think you gotta be willing to like peel the onion back and really understand things about yourself and think about why you were doing those things. Like, here's another perfect example. Like, I'm all about the games, right? My train has got me on like protein, right. I have to like have a protein shake every day. It's not just like a protein shake. It's got like creatine and like greens and like peanut butter and like egg whites. Like, so I really have to think about this. I was like, I f*****g Kate protein shakes. Right. I was like, it's probably because I'm just lazy. I don't want to make the protein shake. I really spent time thinking about it. It was that I f*****g hate drinking. It, it really wasn't about me making it. It was a fact that I don't want to drink it. 

 Rudy
 I feel like I'm a goose being shoved foods for like four Gras, like overstuffed my liver. And, but it's kind of simple or basic, but it expands beyond that to a higher level. It really, you got to start thinking about like, why you don't want to do it and then figuring out what the real answer is and being honest and then saying like, do I want this or not? Yes. I want gains. I want to be able to help Josh while he's running. So I need to be the muscle. I'm going to drink the protein shake and I'm going to make the protein shape because that's important for what I want to accomplish. Everything is not easy. I know it's like, well, dude, it's just a protein shake. Well, I also got to go to the gym and I grind. It's always about pushing to the next level. 

 Rudy
 No matter how much money I have or how successful I am, nobody can grind for me. 

 Josh
 Yeah. Does, does success and wealth make, is there a temptation to make you lazy success and wealth? 

 Rudy
 Well, one, I think laziness necessarily. Isn't always a bad thing. Right? I think that you could also say laziness is realizing how to optimize your time and do the things that you think are important for you and outsource the things that are not necessarily as important, right? Like, but I think that success in wealth by you time, from the standpoint of being able to say, like, what am I gonna, what am I going to invest my time in now crudely equal. Quote unquote, like what we consider laziness. Absolutely. I think that a person that wins the lottery that didn't really have to work very hard for. It probably will be lazy. I think they will probably say, I finally met my goal. I get to Netflix and you're probably a loser. You won't have to chill with anybody because you haven't wanted to try to do something. 

 Rudy
 Look, I'm not beating up on men because trust me, like there's enough people out there beating up on us. I just want us to take our place back right. In society where we belong and not give it up again. I, they talk about, I'd rather be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. My. 

 Josh
 Gosh. Yeah. 

 Rudy
 Right. And I'm a warrior. Like I wake up every day and I'm ready to fight. If the apocalypse comes or whatever happens or the hard times come, I I'm ready to handle them. I managed through them and I don't complain about anything. That was the one thing that I started really working hard on is you will not hear me ever complain about anything. I could have the worst s**t going on. I may talk about it with somebody like a close friend, but I'm not complaining. I'm just talking about it. And, but I don't do that all day long. Like I'm not texting 15 people saying like my latte didn't have enough milk today. My world is ending, shut the f**k up. 

 Josh
 That's why we have an uncensored show. See, I, but I love this because I believe that people, I mean, we have a freedom of speech, right? Where we have the ability to say what we believe. Right. It shouldn't be hateful and it shouldn't be this and that. I love the fact that you're showing up and saying what you believe, because I believe it is. It's true, man. I believe that for guys who go, I want this, I want to be the warrior in a garden. I want to be a man. I want to be masculine right now. There's a lot of firepower against the masculinity. For guys who go, I want to be masculine. You could be whatever you want out there. Ladies and gentlemen and whatever, right? Like for me, I want to be masculine. I want to be a soldier in a garden. 

 Josh
 I want there to be peace. If danger comes, I'm grabbing my piece and I'm going after it. Right. How are you in a world where there's social media? There's I mean, I think you've nailed it. I think social media is so dangerous and yes, I'm on LinkedIn. Got, but I had to delete Facebook. I had to delete my Twitter. I had to delete a bunch of stuff. I'm always on the verge of just deleting LinkedIn too. Cause I'm struggling, dude, with identity, I'm struggling with how the world perceives me. I'm struggling with need for validation and approval. That s**t bothers me. How are you dealing with this? 

 Rudy
 Well, I think that it's been a struggle for me too. I actually wasn't on social media until my ex and I broke up, which was a couple of years ago. My friends were like, Hey man, you're like, you're back in the game. Like you're going to have to get on social media. I was like, all right, I'm not on social media, all that much. I don't really look at LinkedIn. Other than when people like request me. I think that it takes a lot of work. Look, I think that here's something I'm pushing. I'm pushing no swipe September, go out and talk to somebody. I don't care if it's a girl. I don't care if they're married, not just go and talk to people that you don't know because these apps aren't going to validate you. These apps are going to make you feel worse. And I've been on the apps. 

 Rudy
 It's going to make you feel worse about yourself because there's bots that they've got in place. There's only so many women, like there are way more men on the apps and there are women. Women are only, they're filtering out people. If you're not six feet, if you're not this, you're not that. You're going to only get so many people that are interested and maybe get like three matches and you swipe through the entire state of Ohio. Right? And, and now you're saying, well, what the f**k am I that ugly? Like, I mean, I work out. I mean, it's right. If I, I guarantee if you took the time to introduce yourself or even if you're not comfortable with that, just start with asking somebody, I don't care. Don't put your, don't show your phone, ask somebody for the time of day. Like, Hey, do you happen to have the time start somewhere? 

 Rudy
 Let's get back to actually meeting people at a f*****g barbecue or at a restaurant or at your friend's party or at the pool, because that's what it's supposed to be about. And we've gotten lazy. Yeah. This is really actually lazy and weak. Right? Like I don't want to get rejected or, I mean, would you rather be rejected by 850 people that you swiped on yesterday? Or would you rather be rejected by one girl? 

 Josh
 It's easier to be rejected by the swipes because there's a buffer in there. Right? You don't have to see the person that we have a lot of keyboard warriors, right? Oh yeah. Easy to throw out. I've been swiped since 2012 when I got married. Right. So, but there's a lot of it's that's in 2010 prior to being married or whatever, a matchmaker and all these things, it was so easy to go on a profile and just look at a girl's picture and go send, send, send. I did that a lot and it was easy going after girl face-to-face is hard going after a problem, face to face, not behind a keyboard, like at a barbecue in the, in a tribe. You said we're missing out on tribes. That's that's hard. It takes work. It takes you stepping out of a comfort. 

 Rudy
 Yeah. Well, I mean, even like, our neighborhoods, right? Like when you were growing up, right, like it's summer, right. I would be out riding my bike, talking to kids in the neighborhood. Just there wouldn't be like, my parents would be like, see ya, come home that my mother would come out the front door, start screaming my name. Right. It's time to come home. That was the sign to come home right now. Parents are like, oh, don't go outside. We don't like, we're scared. Like the kids don't play with each other. We, we are so isolated. We isolate ourselves. F**k. If the doorbell rings, when I was a kid, I'd be like sprinting to the door to see what it is. Now people are crawling on the floor, pretending like they're not home. Right. It's it's crazy. Yeah. Our society is crazy. We need to get back to like, what's important. 

 Rudy
 We're humans. It's about being humans. Right. Like horses don't survive by themselves very well. We don't either. 

 Josh
 Yeah. You and I are, we signed up and you're like, bro, and I want you to see my energy consultant or what are they called it? An energy, 

 Rudy
 Energy therapist. Yeah. 

 Josh
 And energy therapist. You and me, we're hanging out with the energy therapist and they look at me and they start asking me some questions or giving me some advice. What, what do you think they would share with, maybe first consultation. 

 Rudy
 You or me, 

 Josh
 Let's just say, we're going together where you and I are going to, because we're twin brothers just darker. And we meet with them. Like what what does it, what's it like? Cause I've never got, 

 Rudy
 I think there's a lot of sound. It's like a lot of sound vibrational work. Right. And they work your shakras. They try to really identify like why you're experiencing some of the things you're experiencing. And then they release right. To like dig in. Right. Like, for me it was , I don't think I was necessarily unconditionally loved as a child. Right. There, but there was all of these things that you have to be willing to like work through and accept. Right. Like, I don't blame anybody for the things that like are in my life. Right. Like I'm not like, oh, like my parents did the best they could with what they know. I think it's my job to continue to evolve, to be a better human being and try to like, optimize that. Right? Like I'm constantly trying to optimize myself as a human being, whether it's physically, mentally, like, I don't like to read books. 

 Rudy
 I audible books, like I am always got a book in the background and I'm taking away pieces. Right. Like the four agreements, great book. I believe in those four agreements, I live by those four agreements. I think that, yeah, so I don't th I think an energy therapist, I don't know what they would say about you, Josh. I think that they would say you don't need to be here, man. 

 Josh
 Oh yeah. I do. All right. So let's do this. All right. We peel back the onions, Rudy, Josh, what are you most proud of for yourself? And what are you insecure about? Right. We'll, we'll play the game together. I'll go first. Most proud of this guy is that I, I truly care for people. Right. I've been burnt by a lot of people, but I truly care for people starting in my inner circle, family, friends, close friends. Then, it goes out, my circles are getting bigger. That's what I'm truly like, proud of myself. What about you? I think it's. 

 Rudy
 Tough. I think I agree with you to that extent too. Like, I really have always been a good person trying to do the right things by people. I've worked really hard on that. Even more now. Like that's important to me and doing, and one of the things that I've improved on for myself was when I do things, I really now want nothing or expect nothing in return. That's in the past, I would do things with the expectation that it would somehow come that, Hey, listen, I, this is basically I bought you like four coffees, man. You can't like get me one. Right? Like, right. Like it's it was, it was that mentality or leverage, right? Like if I do these things, I can leverage my employees somehow. Right. If I help them out now I really do things without expecting anything in return. Like if I do something for my sister, if I do something for a person on the street, or if I give somebody a great tip, it's not because I want anything in return. 

 Rudy
 I do it because it's, I feel it's the right thing to do for me. 

 Josh
 Biggest insecurity for me, because I've had some successes, but I've had some public failures and, like we had to move back in with mom and dad. We just had to like massively reset insecurity for me is in the past. And, and I'm working through that now is where I'm at, because I'm very good at the comparison game, especially when you interact with thousands of people on a daily basis. It's so easy for me to get caught up in the, what people think about me, that personal validation and the comparison thing, like biggest insecurity and people would be like, you're so confident. I'm like, I am not, I am really insecure. And I'm working through that. What about you? 

 Rudy
 Yeah. And, and I guess the other thing that w what was the first thing we talked about, the biggest thing I'm proud of? I guess the other thing I would say I'm really proud of is like myself development, right? Like I, and my discipline, right? Like, I I'm, I've become very disciplined towards what I want and who I am. I don't deviate from that, regardless of what somebody may think of me, et cetera. I would think, I'd say, I would say the other, so my insecurity, I think there was only one insecurity that I really have, and I'm working hard on it. It's, it's about like, dying alone, right? Like, I don't have a girlfriend right now updated a lot of women. I think that's been a process to really say like, now I'm at a space where I'm only going to date somebody that I really think is going to add value to my life. 

 Rudy
 It took me a while to get here. Cool. That also leaves a very big space. Right. It's like, are you comfortable in that space? Or I'm not just dating people that date them, or I'm not willing just to go out with girls to go out with them, or I'm not just wanting to like, hook up with girls and then be like, all right, well, this isn't going to work. Right. Cause that feels like s**t. Right. For me, that feels like s**t. I, I think that there are people out there that like, that brings them validation. I used to look at that as validation, but that, to me, isn't validation, like body count to me is not validation. Right. You can, so, but that's my insecurity. 

 Josh
 Yeah. I see on, on your profile and such you do a massive amount when it comes to mission oriented things kind of give an idea of what they are. I see guardians of the street, I see habitat for Mandy rolled to road, to responsibility, a school on wheels. Like it really looks like you're digging in and I'm really trying to get a hard, to give. 

 Rudy
 I think it's really important to give. I think it's really important to help people look like you, Josh, right? You want to help people. Like, I want to help people too. When you get yourself, right, then you can be in a space to really help other people get to where we need to get to. Right. And, and even in tribes, right. Everybody's got a role, right? Like, I mean, right. Even if there's a tribe of guys, there's still going to be like the leader, but then that leader is going to be like, this dude over here is really smart with these things. I'm going to, that's real alpha, right? Understanding how to surround yourself with all the right people. That as a group, you can be successful. I've always surrounded myself with people that are smarter than me. I don't claim to be the smartest person. 

 Rudy
 I mean, I like when people can teach me things, I'm always learning every single day. I think that giving back is really important. Especially if it's things that mean something to you. Right. I got involved with school on wheels and that's really there to help kids that are in a homeless environment. They may be with their parents living in a shelter. When they go to school, they may not have a backpack or they may not have the right school supplies. We're an organism, or that's an organization. We're an organ. I'm part of the organization that makes sure that these kids go to school with all the right stuff. I, and I dialed that in even further. I'm like, listen, I think that we should get as granular as possible. If Mikey wants the Hulk backpack, then he should get the f*****g hook back there because that's the worst thing for a kid, right? 

 Rudy
 Like nobody wants like, well, you should be lucky to have a backpack. F**k that. Right? Like these kids are homeless. They didn't choose that. They should at least be able to go to school in a tough environment, man. Right. Like nobody kids going to go to school, be like, yeah, I'm homeless. Like I can't afford pencils. Like my mom or dad's a crack head. Like they didn't choose all that. I think it's really important that they can at least have those basic things. I pushed our organization to try to get as granular as possible and say, and I've even said, listen, if were out of Hawk, backpacks, I will pay for all the f*****g hope backpacks we need. That's that stuff that's really important. A lot of these other organizations are guardians is actually with my trainer and he's out there every week, helping homeless people in Brockton, which is the town that my business was in. 

 Rudy
 I've really feel like I owe a lot to Brockton and he's a great guy. He's out there like handing out shirts, like trying to get people off the streets. It's also really helpful for you to say, I'm grateful for where I am because these people have it really hard when you're having a s****y day. You can reflect on seeing like my day is really not that s****y. 

 Josh
 It's really not that bad. Yeah. It's so easy to get caught in the moment. Like I, I come home from work and I'm like, man, I had a tough day, super busy and I've got, 15 projects stacked on my plate and I'm stressed out my kids asking me for one more thing. I, and I, I blow up on them and then I go, holy s**t. Like those 15 projects don't mean anything. I got a kid in front of me and I need to reevaluate really self-reflect and go, what's important here. I probably don't have it that bad. Right. That's hard for me to do in the moment. What have you found works for you? 

 Rudy
 I really try to dial it down and compartmentalize. I really try to say like, listen, like in my mind I take an extra couple of seconds before I respond to something. Yeah. I, I really try to think through exactly what you just said. I do that before I speak. Right. Like when my son's like daddy, like, blah, blah, blah. And I've got like 55 other projects going on and I'm on a call or whatever, before I snap or snip at him or whatever, I try to really like, think about like, okay, what? Josh is my friend and he's my brother, but he'll respect me. If I take two seconds to like Josh, hold one second. Hey, Alex, your black shoes are in your closet. Go grab those. So we can go, not Alex. One of the f*****g phone, like, don't bother me when I'm on the phone. 

 Rudy
 Right. If you don't respect me for that, then you're not my brother. You're not my friend. 

 Josh
 I agree with that, man. I, I find that and I have a rule. I mean, 99% of the time, I hate to set concrete rules. When my wife calls, I'll be in the middle of an investor meeting and wife calls, I'll say, sorry guys, hold on, sweetheart, are you okay? Cause normally she doesn't call right she'll text or whatever. Or if I FaceTime for my kids, I'm answering it and I can put other things on hold, but I'm learning this. That's a challenge for me of prioritizing and doing that. Like kudos to you, dude, for, self-development really investing in yourself like you are my bro. I, and I love the mission and our group will buy a Hawk backpack for a little Mikey. So you let me know. 

 Rudy
 Thanks, man. We really appreciate that. 

 Josh
 Actually let's do this for anybody in the audience too, who wants to buy a freaking Hawk backpack for Mikey out there. Who's, who's a little kid who, didn't choose homelessness. His parents may be, we're in a weird situation. Where can we go to buy a friggin Hawk backpack? 

 Rudy
 Well, I think you can just go online to our school on wheels website and where the Massachusetts division. I think you could probably make a donation and you can specify that you want it to be in Mikey's whole backpack. Or if you want to get specific, like, get me involved. My email address is first initial, last name it's R D as in dog, a as in apple, J as in John eyes and ice cream, E as in elephant@outlook.com, I will absolutely make sure that we get you to the right people to take care of the right folks and, totally appreciate it. It's so meaningful, you know, it's important. I think these, the, kids really hit home for me. I think that they didn't, it's, it's the building blocks. It's our future. If we can't fix that, then our foundation is going to be really rough. 

 Rudy
 I think it's important to invest in that. Look, I think everybody has problems and you may or may not even realize it, right? You're like you were talking about always comparing yourself. I compare myself, right. I have to like check myself, right. Like one of my neighbors is ultra successful and he's probably worth like, I don't know, $500 million. Right. And I'm like, but he's 65. Maybe not in the best health or, he's still grinding every day. I don't think he's grinding because he's enjoying it. I've spent time talking to him, like, you got to invest in yourself, man. Like, these are important things to take. Like you only have so much time and like step back, and he doesn't want to. I think I'm in a better position where I'm at and even bill gates, right. Bill gates got divorced, the guy's worth how many billion dollars. 

 Rudy
 Right. It's not always, peaches and cream or rainbows and sunshine. So everybody's got issues. It's how you decided that you want to manage your issues and how you want to decide, like what, like, if you can self validate, then you can be comfortable in your own space. It's hard to get there. Right? Like, and you and I stumbled, there were days that I stumbled and I have to like pick myself up. 

 Josh
 Rudy, this is so cool, man. I really appreciate you come in and just, open kimono, open, peeled, back onion, however we want to say it. So I appreciate that. Let me throw some questions in there. I grabbed your phone and let's just say you had the same phone or iPod for the last 30 years or whatever, 20 years, however old it is. I find your number one most played song over the past 20 years. What is it? 

 Rudy
 Guns and roses. November rain. 

 Josh
 Ooh, nice. Sing it for us. Now. I'm just getting done to it. 

 Rudy
 I was like, Hey man, I'll do it. If you're in the car with me, you are subject to my tone, deaf thing. So be prepared. I think that's why most of my dates don't work out. 

 Josh
 Hey, next thing, we're going to get a voice trainer for you. I'll go in on it with you. Finally for dudes who are going, man, I'm struggling. And your message really resonated with me. Like, how can we connect? It, are maybe LinkedIn or wherever? Like, 

 Rudy
 My email address, absolutely look, and I think there are a lot of people struggling, a lot of guys struggling and I've firsthand one of my, acquaintances, friends at my gym. He was a couple years older than me. He, he went through a tough time and just went down a bad road and he committed suicide. A couple of weeks later, one of my acquaintances there, his son was like 15 and he committed suicide. It was just a rough patch for me. And I can understand those things. I think, I mean, it's, you can get in a dark rabbit hole, but the long and the short of it is, and I think this is really important. I tell myself this too, when it's a tough day is you just got to wait one more day, just wait one more day. Because when you wake up that next day, you really know how you don't really know how that's going to feel. 

 Rudy
 That's been proven with a lot of people that have actually survived suicide. They're like, I don't know what I was thinking because today it's a different day. Yeah. 

 Josh
 Yeah. I, I stood on a bridge thing in a Swan dive in off, and I've interviewed a ton of dudes, especially on this show or just people in general who had the gun to their head or in their mouth or whatever. They, it was, there was something that popped up in their brain to make them think just one more day. Man, I'm, I'm now I got three kids and I'm thankful that I didn't, but I think that's a great message. Just one more day. There's tons of people out there who saying, yeah, I'm willing to help. If you go through, guys in the audience, let's do this, man. If that is ever you, there's tons of people. Past guests who have, shared their story of one guy who jumped off a seven story building. Now he's in a wheelchair and he shares a message of inspiration and hope. 

 Josh
 There's many guys who put guns in their mouth and thought about, dragging out. Don't do it man. One more day, listen to one more episode, reach out to one more guest, keep reaching out, keep trying, this show is for you guys. I love you guys. If you're struggling with something as always reach out to our guests, Hey, thanks for being on the show. I need help. If you'd like to come on the show and give some tough advice for some dudes out there, head on over to uncensored advice for men.com, fill out a quick form and we'll get you on the show next. Rudy, are there any questions that I probably should have asked you that I screwed up and did not ask you? 

 Rudy
 No, I mean, I think you hit it all, but Hey, let's on a positive note. Like I want to end on a positive that there are a lot of great things out there. Look, I don't have any desire to f*****g go to Mars. Like we live in an amazing place. Like look out the window, see the sky, drink the water, smell the air. You're not in a space suit. Like we are in an amazing space. We have unlimited technology, we're not digging holes in the ground to like go to the bathroom. We have this comfort, but like we just need to work hard and we just really got to man up, honestly. Yeah. 

 Josh
 Super awesome, man. Well, but I appreciate your time dudes as always love ya. We'll talk to you all on the next episode. See. you guys